Christmas Baking
written by: Roger Turner
it’s time for christmas baking
whether you know how to or not
the thing you must remember
is that the oven gets quite hot
it’s not that i’m an imbesile
or that my mind is set on slow
there’s things ’bout christmas baking
that everyone should know
turning up the temperature
will not make things bake much quicker
and you’ll never get your baking done
if you start hitting the liquor
liquor helps but not that way
it’s for the recipe…not you
because the first drink goes down smooth
it always tastes like two
my icing stuck to everything
it even melted on my cat
the dog thought fluffy was his treat
and that my friends was that
metal in the microwave
makes great sparks but doesn’t cook
in fact it’s quite explosive
if you take the time to look
peanut butter rollups
are easy and look cool
but with so many kids allergic
you can’t sell them at the school
the best way to do baking
is to buy them from the store
put them on a plate you own
and don’t say any more
if people want the recipe
say it’s secret, you can’t tell
your granny took it to her grave
besides, they all do this as well
take my advice on baking
don’t bake if you can buy
because you’ll never get it perfect
no matter how you try.
- Christmas Baking - December 17, 2025
- The Krampus Carol - December 2, 2025
- The Mariposa Witches - November 13, 2025
