Bullied
written by: Wizz Inasia
I’m crying again like yesterday,
My eyes are red and sore,
My arms are pink and swollen,
I can’t take this no more,
I want to tell my teacher,
I want them as my shield,
I wish I was strong enough,
To tell them how I feel,
Kids will be kids they say to me,
Let me see what I can do,
A letter to their parents,
Gives them ammunition too,
In the playground the canteen,
Behind the art room walls,
When I’m waking to the school,
No one heard my calls,
No one sees me crying,
As I’m sobbing in the shower,
Water reflecting the purple haze,
From the fists that give you power,
But I cannot lie no more,
Or hide I have no will,
And as I watch this YouTube video,
My knots are better still,
I think that this will work this time,
I don’t think it will slip,
Finally to sleep I’ll go,
For a never ending kip,
But then not a burden no more,
I don’t deserve life anyway,
I’m fat I’m ugly and I smell,
Like you tell me every day,
My clothes are cheap my life is too,
My sneakers are not Nike,
My jacket is from Tesco,
And I can’t afford a bike,
My mum is not a lawyer,
My dad not a business man,
They do not drive a fancy car,
Their glasses not Ray-Bans,
But none of this matters now,
As I tie it to my bed,
I check the knot just one more time,
As I put it over my head,
Not high enough to jump,
So I gently try sit down,
And now I’m fully suspended,
Bum 5 inches from the ground,
I feel it getting tighter,
Around my ugly fat throat,
Too late to turn back now,
Light headed start to float,
I feel it now start to shake,
My body into spasm,
I’m sure they will be happy now,
I hope that they will fathom,
I think that this is it,
The shakes finally slow,
Now I feel calm somehow,
First time ever don’t feel low,
I can see my self really weird,
Like I’m looking from above,
My father cradling me in his arms,
My mother finally shows me love,
Screams so shrill can hear it from here,
Wherever now I am,
The medics pounding at my chest,
In the back of the van,
And as they read aloud the time,
And my mother passes out,
The neighbours standing in the street,
There truly is no doubt,
That you were right now I agree,
I should go and die,
Well now I did so thank you,
No tears left to cry,
But I can see the hole it left,
To all the people I should have told,
Teachers family and my only friend,
Will never see me get old,
It’s too late now I had 15 years,
I gave it my best I tried,
You bullied me every day at school,
You can’t know that I’ve died.
Rip to me because of you.
- Scan - July 9, 2021
- Bullied - April 24, 2021
- Black Dog Day - January 20, 2021
