Chaos
written by: Pranjal Srivastava
Lights are off, I’m on my bed after a long, tiring day
Said good night to my mother on the call around half an hour ago
Smoked the last cigarette few minutes ago
All that’s left to do is close my eyes and sleep.
“Wait, what?”- a voice came from within
I ignore it and close my eyes anyway
Few minutes later:
I hear a loud banging sound
I wake up immediately to check if someone’s at the door
There is no one.
I come back and close my eyes again.
After a while, I guess I’m half asleep
I start hearing similar sounds again, accompanied with few voices also
Voices, I’ve always ignored.
Louder, louder and louder!
That’s all I can hear now.
My body starts hurting, as if someone’s stabbing and scratching me from the inside
Maybe a message on my soul!
I don’t know.
I could never know in the past, too.
There are tears in my eyes, but nothing’s come outside
Sometimes, I look in the mirror and see myself sobbing, even mourning something
But I don’t see any tears.
Drought in my eyes but flood in my head!
I try to wake up to end all this, but I can’t.
Something stops me.
Or maybe someone!
Someone who wants to see me cry, suffer and in pain.
I’m not asleep though, my eyes are just closed.
I see things, weird, menacing and gore things
Sometimes I forget when I wake up, sometimes I don’t.
When I don’t, it haunts my days too.
It feels like I’m lying on the bed of pins
Each piercing my soul apart one by one with distinct melody of pain
I used to fight it, I don’t anymore.
It’s almost morning now
Things start changing now.
It is putting band-aids all over my soul
Not to heal it, but to pull it apart the next night again.
The sun rises and I get better,
Only till the next night when it hits again just like tonight!
I love to write. Though I don't really share it. This is the first platform where I am sharing my write-ups. Writing is rare and it should be preserved at all cost!
- Chaos - July 1, 2020
- Captive - October 1, 2019
- Self-Loathing - May 2, 2019
