Gifted and Mature

Gifted and Mature

written by: Stella

 

I suppose I’m “gifted” and “mature”
at least that’s what you tell me
So much that it’s engrained in my brain
After all, you can’t wash out every stain

You say “gifted”
I say trapped
I just want to fall into the endless black
They won’t judge me there
I promise I’ll make my way back
I want to plummet
and feel the rush
Without worrying about having to claw my way up

You say “mature”
I say scarred and insecure
I can’t look at her face
But I see her in every place
I want the ground to swallow me up
But that would bring it all back
Her hands on me
Pushing me down
No, I don’t want that
I would rather fall and fall and fall
With no feeling at all
Into the endless gray

So
yes
I guess I am “gifted” and “mature”
If that means trapped and insecure
Your empty words mean nothing to me
Unless they can see what’s hidden underneath