You cannot fuck this up. It will all fall apart if you do. All the boys, all the debauchery, all your wicked (but fun) ways will no longer be at your disposal. This is your evil side speaking. You must listen and obey.
You must be smart and shrewd. Most importantly you must have a good memory. This is the art of deception. If you make one misstep, it will all be over. You will be alone. Game over.
When communicating be sure to not incriminate yourself by forgetting an excuse or lie that you used once before. Remember what you said in the past to validate present circumstances. Everything hinges on the past when you need to make things happen in the present and future. Take your time, take a breath before responding verbally, or in writing. Text messages are your friend. They can be easily deleted.
Think of your life as a soap opera, only each of its players has a separate story line featuring you. Just as a viewer watching the show, you must keep track of all the story lines. You must remember that the protagonist in plot A likes video games, basketball, and works in finance. Or that you told the handsome male lead in plot B that you enjoy working out and reading (which you do), and that he works in construction and blogs on Bob Dylan. You have got to keep it straight. It’s okay. You are smart and you’re going to put that advanced, ivy-league level intelligence to good use. Oh, and you also have plot line C. Every soap opera worth a glance has a minimum of three plots, and so does your life.
Scheduling is also important. You cannot have two dates on the same night at the same time. That last part is very crucial: at the same time. Same day, sure, no problem. Same time, big problem. Be careful when you schedule. Keep your head in the game.
If you keep your wits about you the world can be yours. You too, can play the game of love like a man. You are running the table, you are running the game.
Kara Jackman is an Archivist at Boston University by day and a freelance writer by night. Her work has appeared in a number of regional, Massachusetts newspapers, non-profit newsletters, and local sports magazines. Her interests are many and varied thanks to her parents' commitment to artistic immersion. Her four years spent at the College of the Holy Cross did not hurt either. She blogs about music, fitness and self-improvement. Kara resides in a suburb just outside the city of Boston.