Pause written by Cristina Munoz at Spillwords.com

PAUSE

PAUSE

written by: Cristina Munoz

@cristinamunoz8

 

the grey phone cord tenses
coiled around my fingers
i pause

“You don’t get it Cristina.
My feelings for you are far stronger,
than your feelings for me.”

this brand of love bleeds pain
stuns me boldly into feeling
creating a stillness
interrupted only by your breathing
a gentle rasp

how can i tell you?
you want, need
deserve a love
i’m not wired to desire
with any man

intended coming out,
“I’m Gay.”
make you laugh
say,

i might as well start wearing
a lemon construction helmet
with ‘WOMEN ONLY’ in black
like the cute girl, dancing
(what a fantastic sight!)
at the ‘Village People’ Metro Gig
late last Sunday night
not today

instead, i said “I’m sorry.”

inside our loaded moment
you whispered sadness,
“It’s okay.”
i sighed, it wasn’t
wishing i wasn’t me

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