Shopping
written by: Mark Wilson
When you go shopping with the wife
All it does is give you strife
You enter the shop feeling quite jolly
Then you see you can’t find a trolley
The shop is getting busier the tills are unmanned
Your day out isn’t going quite as you had planned
The queues are going on for what looks like miles
Looking at the faces there’re very few smiles
You join the others right at the rear
And you think to yourself “how long am I gonna stay here?”
Then the other queue gets smaller and you make the dash
Then you see the sign ‘this till’s just for cash’
With shoulders slumped you have to join the other queue
And now you find there’s extra queuing to do
The queue is getting smaller you think that’s nice
Then you hear the woman on the till shout “I need a price”
“Oh no” you think “another long wait”
By now you’re getting into quite a state
After you feel like you’re losing your will
You notice there’s nobody queuing at the disabled till.
So you sidle over there before the other bunch
Only for the cashier to say “I’m shut, I’m off for my lunch”
You know you can’t wait any more
So you tell the wife you’ll meet her at the door
Then you see it’s your good lady’s turn and the till bell rings
She comes to the door and she’s only bought two bloody things
You look up at the sky with a pained grin
Knowing that you’ll never win
So when she asks if you’re gonna be here
Look at her with a fake smile and say ‘yes dear’
Because you know when it comes to shopping day
Nothing ever gets in her way
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