To the person who calls my wife, "girlfriend"— at

To the Person Who Calls My Wife, “Girlfriend”—

To the person who calls my wife, “girlfriend”—

written by: Em Collins



Here are some tips on how to love my wife; do your best to learn them whole-heartily (she has no time for half of you):

  1. When you go to pick up pizza always let her eat a slice or two in the car while you’re heading home (or possibly in the parking lot prior to leaving) because she should get what she wants.

  2. Make lists with her, but don’t just plan: act.

  3. Her true essence shines when she listens to Stuart McLean, and her heart swoons when she listens to Florence.

  4. Always let her sleep at 45 degree angles.

  5. July 31st should be just as important to you as it is to her. She will cry on this day. She will need to hide under blankets and spend time alone. And she will need someone to listen and be available when she’s ready.

  6. Be a ladder between her and her family.

  7. Make sure she has time for herself; this is when you leave her alone, and it’s okay.

  8. A good hoodie is vital to her.

  9. Always encourage and support her in the shows/projects she takes part in. Be as involved as you can. But also encourage her heart to know when it’s time to rest.

  10. Remember the details; especially the small ones.

  11. Write with her, and listen to what she writes.

  12. Be patient with her, and help her learn what patience means because often times she hates it.

  13. Make sure she returns to Newfoundland.

  14. You will find a bit of her everywhere: clothes, hair pins/ties, dishes, books, scripts, empty bottles, full bottles, pens, notebooks, lists, keys, IDs, tools, photos, and old letters. She is both organized and scattered, and her chaos is necessary.

  15. Cook with her; cook for her; let her cook for you.

  16. Make sure she goes to Drumheller as often as she can, and encourage her to do this by herself.

  17. Know that Z has her heart; make sure she visits him.

  18. Always forehead kisses, and always always.

  19. Let her pick the cleaning supplies. And respect the countless laundry loads she does, especially the whites.

  20. Understand the importance of the em-dash and where she loves to include the semi-colon.

  21. Always challenge her to be her best self, especially when she doesn’t want to hear it; even if that means watching her run away from you.

  22. And give her your best; nothing less will do.



Latest posts by Em Collins (see all)