I look at him and he smiles. He tells me that dinner was great but his frequent burps suggest that he’s having a hard time digesting it.
Okay so I messed up again but at least I tried. There’s no need to get so upset. It’s not the frigging end of the world.
“Lovely dinner babes,” he says. “The meat is… mmm… what I would call very well done; just the way I like it. And those potatoes are to die for.”
What a bloody liar. Accept that you’re stupid. He’s avoiding the truth. No, he’s just teasing you so lighten up. Five minutes pass and I stop beating myself up for something so silly as an overdone steak. After all he’s here with me and not at home with her.
He’s wetting himself as he tells yet another joke. I laugh instead at the tiny piece of carrot stuck in the middle of his front teeth. Looking closer as he laughs again, I notice the number of black fillings which occupy such a beautiful mouth.
Don’t giggle so much. You look stupid. I continue to watch the little intruder moving about when he talks. It looks just like a grub poking through a hole in an apple, trying to surface for air. For some reason he doesn’t feel its presence.
He thinks it’s the wine we’ve had when I giggle again. Pull yourself together or you’ll lose him. Grow up and tell him stupid.
His mobile receives a text message and he looks at it and frowns. “Who is it?” I ask trying to pull it out of his hand. “It’s just a business acquaintance. Don’t worry. I’ll sort it later.”
He’s hiding something from you.
“Nothing is important as you tonight,” he says throwing it down on the sofa. “Now, where were we?” There’s something he’s not telling you stupid. Ask him again who it is. Don’t let him get away with that.
We laugh and talk and drink some more red wine. I feel more at peace for once. It’s been a heavy month. I would never have coped with losing my business and my parents’ dying in that car accident if it wasn’t for him. What are you saying? Are you crazy? You’re such a loser. He’s only using you stupid. He’s got a wife and kids.
I look at him as he lights another roll-up. “You want one babe?” he asks inhaling deeply. “Come on, you know you’re dying to have a drag.”
I smile and shake my head as I watch him blow circles into the air. He smiles back and strokes my hair. His green eyes tell me that he truly loves me. Are you sick in the head or something? He could never love someone like you.
The sudden banging on my door is insistent. He tells me to leave it but I want to give whoever it is a good piece of mind for banging so hard. I walk over and fling it open; two men grab me and the third man with yellow teeth lunges at my man. My man’s blood-curdling scream deafens me as he crashes to the floor like a rag doll …
“What’s she doing?”
“She’s probably enacting her last moments with him again, poor love.”
“Have you given her the meds?”
“Yeah. She should calm down soon. I think her voices are giving her a hard time today. I had to strap her down. She’s been really restless.”
“What a price to pay. She must have known about the drugs, right?”
Valli Henry-Boldini hails from London but now lives in Venice, Italy. She is an educator, translator and vocal coach. Her writing began at an early age with diaries, poetry, lyrics then non-fiction/fiction. She is currently trying to write her autobiography. Her writing has appeared in Woman’s Weekly (Print version), Taste of the Caribbean and 101 Words Org to name but a few.