Working On Change
written by: Breanna Hobbs-Dunning
Two houses but neither feel like home,
I just want a place where I can go,
I just want somewhere I can go,
And not be on my own.
Mum moved on,
Now I feel like I’ve got no one,
I’ve never felt so alone,
In a place that’s supposed to be my home.
Now dad has another family,
How did he get so lucky?
I can’t stand him being a better father to kids that aren’t even his.
When is it my turn to be treated fairly,
It’s so hard to see everyone happy,
When all I ever feel is gloomy.
But I wipe my eyes and stop the ugly crying,
cause I’m a fighter not a crier.
I don’t need family support, as well as my friends they aren’t there for a sook.
It’s been just myself all these years,
I don’t need my hand held,
I’m a big girl.
Toughen up and fight my own wars,
confront my own fears.
No partner in crime so stop crying to him, he doesn’t deserve the pressure to always make me smile, it’s just me, all alone trying to escape the feeling of dying.
Looking in the mirror, I see the pain in my green eyes and I know others see it too,
it’s the pain I’ve caused from not seeing straight and always looking at the gloomy side of life.
Change is what I need,
but change isn’t so easy.
When you say “I’ve changed” is that reality or just a figure of speech?
Cause honestly I don’t know what that means.
I’m just a girl who didn’t have a good childhood, already acting like I’m in adulthood. Working my hardest day after day feeling like I’m never getting a break. Grey hair soon to appear from the stress I’ve been put through, but I’m learning to push myself to the breaking point, but proving I’m stronger by pushing myself even more.
Strength, courage and happiness is what I’m working for.
More and more each day, working on myself. Hoping one day I’ll be happy with who I am and hopefully they’ll be proud too.
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