This entry is part 2 of 6 in the series Without Reason
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freight trains

written by: Alyssa Brocker

@Atelgy

 

Freight Trains by Alyssa Brocker at Spillwords.com

 

what we had at first was 

innocent 

adorable 

pure

it was 

friendship

it was 

love

it was

 

 

Everything

 

Freight Trains by Alyssa Brocker at Spillwords.com

 

we made each other friendship bracelets out of rubber bands, 

we skipped algebra to sit by that lake with the 

“watch for alligators” sign.

i watched your 

eyes, 
              
                                                     lips,                          

mood,                           

                    

your whole being rise 

and 

shine when you were with 

me

 

Freight Trains by Alyssa Brocker at Spillwords.com

 

i also watched them 

f    a   l    l

when your 

           controlling,                    masochistic,            

boyfriend 

would send you fear-inducing texts

that would have you running back home, 

back to him

back to the lies

 

away from 

 

me

 

Freight Trains by Alyssa Brocker at Spillwords.com

 

don’t you remember being happy? 

don’t you remember us?                                                                                                                      
                                                         
                                                                                                    don’t you remember that time at the beach,

 

or in your truck bed, 
your old jackets as blankets,
playing the how-close-can-we-get-without touching game? 

you don’t remember? 

god, emma,

i didn’t experience these things alone.

 

 

remember 

 

 

everything

 

Freight Trains by Alyssa Brocker at Spillwords.com

 

i remember
braiding your multi-colored hair 
over and over again, 
as an excuse to touch you
i remember 
your purple lipstick, 
how it got all over my white t-shirt, 
and how I didn’t care at all
i remember 
watching you light your cigarette, 
being so mesmerized by you, 
that I couldn’t speak from watching you do a simple 
action 

 

Freight Trains by Alyssa Brocker at Spillwords.com

 

i remember 
the first, 
last,

time in my bathtub,
slipping on the porcelain,
grasping for each other, 
experimenting,

feeling, 
taking, 
giving, 

each other damn well 

 

everything

 

 

Freight Trains by Alyssa Brocker at Spillwords.com

 

you know what i can’t forget,

though? 

your beautifully damaged face 

when you decided you didn’t like

 

 

g    i    r    l    s 

 

 

anymore   

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Alyssa Brocker

Alyssa Brocker

2016 AUTHOR OF THE YEAR at Spillwords.com
Alyssa Brocker is a twenty-year old college graduate.
She found her love for poetry by working with her theater group to create an original play written in prose.
She lives with her beloved dog who is always her first reader.
Alyssa Brocker

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