A Desire of 'Self' Execution, poem by Kalpna Singh-Chitnis at Spillwords.com

A Desire of ‘Self’ Execution

A Desire of ‘Self’ Execution

written by: Kalpna Singh-Chitnis



When the head feels like a gourd —
I want to scoop out all that it holds.

Everything I once considered important
must be re-examined now.

I want to take out every fiber of my brain
and seeds of all my ideas to carve emptiness.

I want to feel hollowness and smell the scent
released from the execution of my ‘Self.’

I want to sit at my door and welcome autumn,
with a tealight candle flickering in me —

a little fire, enough to keep me warm,
yet not enough to feel the frost ensuing.

I want to watch ghosts and goblins pass me by, grinning at life,
and children excited for trick or treat in their colorful costumes.

I no longer care to fly like a witch with my broom,
or go door to door with my pail, knocking for candies.

I just want to sit out there at my doorstep like a pumpkin,
holding a lantern-lit in me, and feel — anything but important.

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