Ascencio

Ascencio

written by: Ethan Lesley

@ethananarchy

 

Let me go, lover
Let me go

Life is full of valleys, and to the valleys I shall conquer
I need to escape your violets
I need to run t’wards the mountains and the seas

Let me go, lover
Let me go

I need to put myself headfirst into the ocean
and experience its dark
its depth and its cold
with my own skin
You could have been my scuba suit but you would just
separate the waters from me

Let me go, lover
Let me go

I need to escape to the moon at noon with new companions
Doesn’t mean I don’t love you
Don’t say I never did
I was there, in that same room with you, weren’t I?
My sweet autumn love, we both
shared our needles and our hatred
and our fears and solemns
The quiet unhappies
Those heartbeats
were perfect
locked forever in vaults in our heads
but the rave is ending; I’m sobering up and I have to
wake up with the rest of the Manila

all our feelings held at gunpoint at five a.m.
you asked me, “You can’t be like this with our relationship going forward”
and I simply said, “But you won’t see me again”
I watched your heart break in silence
Sorry I had to break it;
Sorry. I had to break it.

I could have been your beach house husband baby but I choose to leave
Let me leave, lover
Let me leave

I know the way out is my way out
I’ve memorized it
And you can watch me put on my clothes in less time than it took you to say “please stay at least another hour”
I’ll close the door behind me
I’ll leave you with nothing but a kiss that sums up all my thanks
And maybe you won’t remember my face
but you’ll always have the fake name I gave you
and you will try to find my comforts in countless other men in the future
try to feel me in every mouth you overtake
and look for me in every busy crowd
but they will never brush your hair soft the way that I did

because they are not me

I am the ghost that will haunt all your highs
Ride or die, baby
I choose to ride alone

Should have warned you
I could truly fall in love for one night
and not give a shit about you when morning strikes

If I took your heart with me
you’ll just have to regrow a new one

Let me go, lover
Let me go

I’m moving on to the next day
Your time will be better off spent
looking for someone who is willing to stay

 

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:

“Ascencio” is part of Ethan Lesley’s Life In The Infinite collection.