Chasing ghosts…..these two words give a deep and colorful portrait of my life. See, people chase ghosts all the time but no one has had an experience even a tad as depressing as mine. The ghosts I chase, well they are more than what you might imagine. They aren’t your average apparitions that haunt people or houses. Mine actually get inside your head, plant happy and delightful memories inside your consciousness and when they’re done playing with you, this spirit just leaves you confused and in a deep state of sorrow. One might spend tens of hours trying to sort out what was real and what was just projected onto their mind. I’ve had visits from these revenants since as long as I can remember. All my memories are blurred out so I can’t tell you my name, my birthday nor the name of my parents. My life is filled with sugarcoated flashbacks. But one thing is for certain. There was one of these phantoms that felt so real. She, in my eyes was a being of absolute and unconditional beauty, a being as pure as a child, yet as fearsome as a raging hurricane. A treat for the eye and the eye of the storm at the same time. Her touch both as gentle as a thousand whispers and as terrifying as a raging air current. No matter what my mind would always center on the marvelous sight of this spirit. This phantom captivated what was left of my imagination and was the only thing I actually hoped would visit me again.
But slowly I was losing hope of ever getting a visit by this magnificent being ever again, it was the death of a dream. I was just a hollow shell of what appeared to be a human being, lacking any memories whatsoever, aimlessly walking through century old woods in a constant state of solace. My travels hadn’t gotten me any closer to piecing together my identity. All I had with me were my dreams and some tools needed for surviving in a forest. My daily routine was nothing special. I usually got up at sunrise, followed by scavenging for any food I might come across. Then I would walk and walk aimlessly, hoping I might see another human being. But somehow I always end up with forged memories from these spiritual monsters. The few human beings I actually encountered were really kind to my wandering soul and would always give me advice on where to travel to or give me tips for survival in the wilderness. I wasn’t what you would consider a genius in any way. In me were the hopes of a dreamer which, frankly, were crushed almost on a daily basis. I had a thing for astrology due to a projection by an apparition, but that was the extent of my interests.
Yet something happened which turned my boring life on its head and reignited the dreamer in me and my passion. It was an unusually foggy morning for May, which made moving through the wet and slippery forest floor an irritating task. As I was making my way down a steep hill I though I saw a figure move amidst the mist. Thinking it was an animal I quickly forgot about it until I saw it again, and again, and again. I still couldn’t make out what I was looking at but it didn’t resemble any animal I had known about. My curiosity started to kick in so I decided that during my next encounter with the figure I will approach it to try and get a better idea of what exactly “stalked” me, so to say. Upon meeting the being I couldn’t believe my eyes. I stared at it, sitting still, not being able to process if the figure that was standing not more than a meter in front of me was real or not. It was her. She was standing on a mossy rock in all her out of this world magnificence. But that didn’t go on for long. The apparition from my dreams started to hop from one rock to another with all the grace of a deer and all the strength of a cougar. My eyes followed her every move, capturing every little detail, holding my breath whenever she jumped into the deep fog. My legs were quick to follow of course. I had met the being of my clouded dreams and I wasn’t going to let her get away. I must have followed her for a couple of minutes until she stopped near a bridge which had collapsed due to its age. And she just stood there, what I can only describe as floating over the soaked and slippery stones, waiting. I was dazzled. Was she waiting for me? I, the puny mortal that was bound to this physical world. It seemed that was the case so I decided to go up the bridge. I didn’t know what to prepare myself for since all other phantoms just destroyed my consciousness. I was only a few steps away when she started moving closer to me. I was terrified by what could happen next but her action blew me away and made me rethink my existence.
She pulled me into her arms, while my hands went around her waist. I had never felt so real before. I felt like I could sense her every elegant move. Her skin and lips burned me, but I felt no pain. I was surrounded by passion, strength, ambition. A tidal wave of feelings, states and emotions had blown me away and made me forget everything I had known. Those lips felt different and new but at the same time they felt like home. As we were locked in a kiss I felt weightlessness and before I could understand what was happening we were already floating above the bridge and soon we were soaring over the foggy forest. At that moment I knew I was complete. I was finally happy. I finally found her…..