Gimme Shelter

Gimme Shelter

written by: Diane Polte

 

14 weeks old and we’ve – me and my brother – been here for as long as I can remember. Before I go any further, you just need to know that he gets on my last nerve. We share a kennel, so there’s no getting away from him. He always wants to jump on me and bites my ear until I yelp. Or he wants my toy even though he has one of his own. And he always gets more kibble than me. I know because I count, and he always gets 3 or 4 more pieces. And if I try to take a few, just to make it even, you know, he snarls at me and bares his teeth. He is such a jerk.

This place is OK. We are kept warm and dry and always have food, water, and fresh blankets. But it is so damn noisy! Everybody is always barking or crying, or whining. They give me a headache. And doofus here barks with them. I don’t get any peace. But it’s not all bad. Sometimes I get to ride in the hrdudu. We go to a place called vet, and a nice lady pokes me all over and looks at my teeth. Then she pats me on the head and gives me a treat. But the best day was when another nice lady took me in her hrdudu to Dairy Queen, and I had a Pup Cup. It was so yummy! Then we went to dog park, and I made some friends, and we had a great time. That was a very good day, but when I got back dim-wit was still there, so that kinda brought me down, y’know?

Then there are humans. Ugh. Caretakers are cool. They all smell like dogs. But when humans come in, everybody goes ape shit, even if we can’t see them because we can smell them. They smell like chemicals. And they always stand in front of our kennel, and the one with the high voice says stuff like “aww” and “isn’t he cute.” I don’t know what that means, but it makes her smile, and when she smiles, peanut-butter-for-brains starts barking and wagging his tail. Then the other one barks at us like we can’t tell the difference between stupid human bark and the real thing. But bro always wags his tail and barks back. I dunno know – maybe he really can’t tell the difference. Anyway, they always move on, and I can hear them doing the same thing at the kennel next to us. Damn, they are annoying.

Then one day, two humans stood in front of our kennel, and I heard a new word. It was ‘home’. I don’t know what that means, but it seemed to make everyone happy. Next thing I know, bro and I are being stuffed into some kind of carrier and put in the back of a hrududu, and off we go. This thing we’re in is so small I can’t even lie down. What the hell!! If this is home, it is a place of torture. Then I smell it! More chemicals that smell faintly of pine trees. It gives me a headache. I feel nauseous. I think I’m gonna barf. So I do the only thing I can think of. I deposit a big pile of stinky wet poop. At last, the hrdudu smells fragrant, and I can relax a bit, and bonus points, it makes the humans stop making noise. Things are better, but can’t say they are good. Pain in the ass is still next to me, and he is shivering and sweating. Then I notice that I am too. I’m feeling agitated and aggravated. I need a joint, but there is no meat to be had around here.

At last we stop, and the carrier is picked up, and we are taken some place and put down. Then they open the door, and I am in the best dog park I ever saw! There is soft, cool grass that feels great on my paws. And trees! And two dogs that look just like me! They come over and sniff my butt, then I sniff theirs. After we have been properly introduced, we run and play. They have the greatest toys! I especially like the rope thingy that you can pull with your teeth. I even have fun playing with my brother!

When it starts to get dark, the human comes out and whistles. The other two run to him, so I follow. When in Rome…y’know? We run down a path, and there is this big building. Must be our new shelter. The man opens a door, and everybody runs in. I’m last, and just as I’m about to follow, he says, “Welcome home.” I don’t know what welcome means, but I’ve heard that other word before. We are going to the torture place, and I freeze. I’m not moving another step! Won’t go in there! So he picks me up and carries me. The door shuts behind us, and he puts me down. The first thing I notice is that there are a million smells I’ve never smelled before! I want to smell everything! And there are no kennels! Anywhere!! What is this place? Then I hear the food bowls being put down. Time to count the kibble. But when I look, the dish is filled with dead chicken parts in some kind of sauce. I scarf it down in two bites. It tastes better than a Pup Cup!

Then everybody goes into the next room. There is a fire in the wall. One of the old dogs at the other place told me about fire, that’s how I know, but he never told me how nice it smelled. There is the same human with a high voice. She gives us treats and scratches behind my ears. I like her. We all lay down on the rug. Full bellied, with my back to the fire, I’m thinking that maybe there is no torture here. Then I smell it – the scent of dead leaves and dry bark, and the wind is picking up outside. I know the water is coming. And sure enough, big sheets of it start splatting on the windows. But we are all lying on the rug, our legs spread out and feeling pretty damn good. I look at my brother, and he is smiling at me. I smile back. Home is a good place to be.