they told me you’d change toward me
when my sister was born,
i refused to believe them;
told them that’d
but you betrayed me
like they said you would,
you’d shower her with love
when you made it feel like
it was a chore to love me
& it hurt me so bad
that i stopped speaking because
it felt like my words
only she did—
i don’t know why i wasn’t good enough,
but i tried so hard to make you love me;
i wanted so desperately to be loved—
could you hear my heart screaming?
did you hear my heart in the words
i couldn’t speak?
and, i still love you,
even through all the chaos
and the aching and the hurt;
i never blamed my sister and i never
blamed you but whose fault could it be?
it was never my fault,
because you should have loved me
and you shouldn’t have made me feel like
there was something wrong with me
for wanting to be loved
and respected and treated like a person
not a burden.
Linda M. Crate is a Pennsylvanian native born in Pittsburgh yet raised in the rural town of Conneautville. Her poetry, short stories, articles, and reviews have been published in a myriad of magazines both online and in print. She has three published chapbooks A Mermaid Crashing Into Dawn (Fowlpox Press - June 2013), Less Than A Man (The Camel Saloon - January 2014), and If Tomorrow Never Comes (Scars Publications, August 2016). Her fantasy novel Blood & Magic was published in March 2015. The second novel of this series Dragons & Magic was published in October 2015. The third of the seven book series Centaurs & Magic was published November 2016. Her novel Corvids & Magic was published March 2017.