New Arrivals Users Guide to One’s The After Life

New Arrivals Users Guide to One’s
The After Life.

written by: Max Singer

 

1. ONE

One cannot be certain the words One is using are One’s.

Nor One’s memories.

They may be One’s.

They may be accurate.

They may also be a delusion or fantasy.

They may have been implanted in One.

Somehow.

Are One’s thoughts merely an echo from One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE?

Perhaps.

One is uncertain.

But then nothing here seems certain.

Everything seems subject to change.

Without notice.

Perhaps One will adjust to this situation.

Perhaps One has already.

Perhaps.

One just doesn’t know.

 

2. THE RECENTLY DEPARTED ARRIVALS LOUNGE

The first thing One remembers or perhaps the last thing One remembers or imagines remembering or remembers imagining about One’s arrival into One’s THE AFTER LIFE is simply opening One’s eyes.

And, Eureka!

Just like that, there One was.

It was if in One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE One had blinked, for a millisecond and when One opened One’s eyes, perhaps another millisecond later (the duration of a blink?), One had been transported straight to One’s THE AFTER LIFE.

And found Oneself seated in what was either a large, upholstered easy chair, or a small, straight-backed wooden chair, in a cavernous, or cramped, crowded or half-empty, indoor, or outdoor, space over which what appeared to be an entrance of some sort, hung a large, medium or smallish, illuminated, or hand-painted, sign that simply and clearly read THE RECENTLY DEPARTED ARRIVALS LOUNGE.

Needless to say One was a bit befuddled and disoriented.

But, nonetheless, there One was.

And One was not alone.

One was surrounded by Others, a horde of grinning, unfamiliar countenances, hovering over One, clapping or cheering, patting One on the back, planting wet kisses on One’s forehead, blowing horns or banging on drums.

One has a vague recollection of seeing balloons floating about and a banner or sign hanging before One that believes might have read WELCOME (one’s “Nameword” Here) TO THE AFTER LIFE!

 

3. NAMEWORDS

If One’s recollection is correct, on the banner in the place where One had just seen “one’s Nameword Here” suddenly appeared a group of letters which One then assumed was meant to be One’s “Nameword.”

(One seems to recall the “Nameword” on the banner was Clyde or perhaps Ernesto, Kwasulu or Ming. One just can’t seem to remember clearly.)

While this “Nameword” on the banner may have been One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE “Nameword,” or intended to represent it, One did not know then, nor does One know now, whether it actually was One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE “Nameword.”

In addition, One also cannot state with any degree of certainty whether in fact this or any such “Nameword” was on the banner — or if there actually were a banner — as illusory and fleeting, as One has since garnered, such early memories of one’s arrival into THE AFTER LIFE seem to be.

In any case, the whole question of what One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE “Nameword” was, or what the nature of a “Nameword” is, at all, One senses most likely, as most questions here it now appears, will remain unanswered.

Nonetheless, for some reason, One still feels some need to apologize for One’s lack of clarity about One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE “Nameword.”

 

4. MEMORIES

One’s lack of clarity about this matter, brings up another more important question: “What constitutes One’s memories of THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE and how reliable they might be?”

Or might not be.

Such memories are central to what, One believes, One has already recorded as One’s entry —or entries?— into MEMORIES OF THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE in the collection of THE LIBRARY OF MEMORIES OF THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE (MORE ABOUT THE LIBRARY BELOW)

That One doesn’t remember for certain One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE “Nameword”, seems to be a very common occurrence.

Perhaps the rule rather than the exception.

Some new arrivals, in fact — One believes One has heard rumblings to this effect — are uncomfortable with the lack of clarity about their THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE “Nameword.” And counseling, of a sort, One seems to recollect reading in the handbook given to all new arrivals as part of their welcome package — “New Arrivals Users Guide to One’s The After Life. [REVISED EDITION]”— is available for those in need of such counseling.

However, no mention of exactly how One might seek and qualify for such counseling was made in the handbook and thus is unknown to One.

As are what procedures, if any, are involved in such “counseling.” And where they might take place, or how, or when. (The handbook itself is rather short and vague and does not go into details about this. Or most anything.)

 

5. CHOICE

In the end, since there is no certainty, no definitive answer, or memory, or recollection, of what One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE “Nameword” was, One finds Oneself thus encouraged — or left alone — to simply choose what one wishes to be called.

On an ad hoc basis.

One might call oneself pterodactyl in the morning.

Flagpole at midday.

Vitamin D in the evening.

One seems to have total freedom of choice in this matter.

Some of the Others even choose a “group of letters” which does not appear to have the qualities of a “Nameword,” but then, when once adopted, becomes one.

There is one of the Others, for example, who wishes to be known as “Conversation Piece.”

Yet another as “twenty plus.”

Another as “Qwixyk.”

Yet another as “10001000.”

There is also a “Didgeridoo.”

An “Axis of Evil.”

An “Element 79.”

As for Oneself, One has lately taken to calling Oneself “One.”

But One is free to change it at any time!

And One may already have done so.

On multiple occasions.

One is not certain.

 

6. MEMORIES OF ONE’S THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE

Shortly after One’s arrival, One read in the aforementioned “New Arrivals Users Guide to One’s The After Life [REVISED EDITION]” that it was important to “record” whatever memories of One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE One had retained, and to do so in an area set solely aside for this purpose, in the MEMORIES OF ONE’S THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE wing of THE LIBRARY OF MEMORIES OF THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE.

One was made to understand the urgency of this endeavor, and of its completion as soon as possible, since, as the handbook stated: “the sooner one ‘records’ these memories, the more complete and accurate they will be,” as, it went on, “memories of one’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE tend to fade over time and, eventually, disappear entirely over the eternity spent here.”

One believes One had set to this task immediately after One’s arrival.

Which One believes was recent.

But it could just as well have been “weeks!”

“Months?”

“Years?”

“Centuries?”

“Millennia!”

In the end One is uncertain, as time is a somewhat nebulous notion here in THE AFTER LIFE.

There was no explanation given in the handbook as to the purpose of this exercise. Perhaps for statistical research of some sort? Or to provide data to enable improvements in the process of transition from THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE to THE AFTER LIFE.

One is not certain that either of these purposes, indeed, are the point of this endeavor.

What seems, after all, to One, a pointless endeavor!

Seemingly pointless, because, as the handbook states, “denizens of THE AFTER LIFE rarely, if ever, return to the library to review one’s entries.”

And, thus far, in One’s own experience, once having finished one’s recording, not One nor a single one of the Others has ever expressed any desire to return to the library to listen to, or read, or watch, or absorb their entries or those of others, by whatever method such memories might be communicated.

 

7. THE LIBRARY

As to the physical nature or location of the Library itself, although One believes One is certain One has been there, One is unable to recall any details of One’s visit or visits and thus is at a loss to describe the “place.”

Nor are there any such details about it in the handbook.

Thus One cannot state with any degree of certainty whether the Library is in fact an actual physical space, a “building” of sorts, a “room,” or a something of a different nature altogether.

A mental construct?

Not implausible considering the implausible circumstances One finds Oneself in!

Similarly not mentioned in the handbook is the particular method or methods by which such memories were to be “recorded.”

Did One use a mechanical device of some sort?

One doesn’t recall.

Were electrodes placed on One’s head and attached to a machine to extract such memories through some sort of physical or psychic osmosis?

One doesn’t recall.

Did the process involved an intervention of some sort?

One doesn’t recall.

Perhaps the process is different for each new arrival.

Perhaps One’s curiosity about this matter will entirely evaporate as time goes on.

And on.

And on.

 

8. FLASHES

While One doesn’t remember very much clearly about One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE, One, however, does experience occasional flashes, intimations, of this or that “event,” “sensation,” “phrase,” “thing,” “person,” “odor,” “sound,” fragment of a “melody,” and so forth, which just suddenly pop up into One’s mind.

A certain “sunset?”

A noise emanating from an object called a “telephone?”

The touch of a thing called a “feather?”

And One clearly recalls the phrases “off duty,” “to a tee,” and “extra cheese.”

But One doesn’t remember what any of these mean.

One thinks One remembers being in the backseat of something called a “vehicle.”

With another individual.

Doing something with One’s “body parts” which One believes preceded creating another One.

There are other such vague recollections.

And that’s as clear as it gets.

So, whatever One might write down now, or have already written down, in One’s entry or entries into THE LIBRARY OF MEMORIES OF THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE and whatever any other of One’s unverifiable assertions are, should be taken with what One thinks One remembers was called a “grain” of something.

And for some reason, One believes that something it referred to was a thing called a “condiment.”

Whatever that was.

 

9. SUSTENANCE

In THE AFTER LIFE, there is apparently no need for what One vaguely remembers was, in THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE, a process which was required to retain One’s physical form and well-being.

A process called “eating.”

This makes perfect sense to One.

Given One’s current circumstances such a process would seem somewhat needless.

Nonetheless, some of the newer arrivals seem reluctant to give up the habit, or act, of “eating.”

For them, the handbook states, there is something available which resembles “eating.”

A substitute for eating, a “charade” of sorts, if one wishes to avail oneself of it, which involves the mastication and swallowing of a variety of substances of different textures, colors and weight.

It is hard to say with certainty whether these substances have the quality of “taste.”

Or “flavor.” Or “aroma.”

And whether they do have these qualities or not, seems to be a result of individual preferences somehow remaining from one’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE.

Also, apparently, each one of the Other’s experience of this substitute for the “eating” process varies.

One has seen some go through this process with what seems to be the look of pure joy on their faces.

And yet others with a blank stare.

If One remembers correctly,

And, the longer one remains here, as the handbook stated, “the less one feels the need for this substitute, and at some point most will abandon this charade entirely, seemingly without any negative outcomes.”

 

10. WASTE

Questions surrounding the “eating” process, lead, inevitably, of course, to questions about certain other bodily functions, that, One seems to recall, had previously been associated with that process in THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE.

In particular the disposal of bodily “waste” that was a result of this “eating” process.

And so far as One can recall, these “wastes” included both solids and liquids as well as other extrusions from the skin, nose, ears, eyes, rank gaseous odors and so on.

Obviously, there are simply no such “wastes” here.

Yet, this absence appears to be an issue for a few of the newer arrivals for whom the disposal of bodily wastes somehow had, in their THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE, been extraordinarily pleasurable and had thus, in THE AFTER LIFE, remained as a lingering engram of memory.

For those few a facsimile is available, but what that is, exactly, remains a private matter.

A secret of sorts.

 

11. BODY PARTS

This is not intended to suggest that the body parts which had previously served as a conduit of such eliminations are no longer there.

In fact, when One first arrived One felt an inexplicable urge to examine One’s body and upon doing so found it to be as physically whole — there being, shall One say, certain openings both in the back and the front remaining — as One seemed to recall there being in One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE. (Why such openings should remain One finds a mystery.)

One has since not felt any need to perform further inspections, perhaps having thus assured Oneself that One was, or at least perceived Oneself, as quite “whole” and tangible, not a drifting miasma, nor floating wisps of ethereal matter nor flitting about with the assistance of “feather” appendages that One vaguely remembers were standard issue in the tales told to One during One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE.

Or so One believes.

 

12. GENDER

Speaking of “body parts,” One cannot explain the how or why of this to you, but “everyone” here appears to either have the same external body parts, or none, which makes it seem we are all the same “gender.”

And whatever gender might have delineated during One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE, appears here to be more indeterminate, unknowable, uncertain and malleable than One remembers.

Neither “one” nor the “other” of the two One senses there had been in THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE, but something less distinct.

Perhaps, something in-between.

Perhaps One may see one of the Others as one gender.

While another might see the same Other as another gender.

Or to some, even a different gender altogether.

Or a bit of both?

Or none?

 

13. MATING

As an adjunct to the topic of gender, as far as One knows there is no equivalent process here to what One seems to remember was called “mating,” a process intended to increase the number of Others.

Nor have there been any attempts at such a process.

As far as One knows.

It seems to One that such a process would be not only be rather pointless but also absurd and ludicrous!

To be born directly into THE AFTER LIFE without a THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE.

Imagine!

 

14. DEMOGRAPHICS

Over time, One has observed that the numbers of the Others remain relatively constant as One sees the same Others day to day.

Nonetheless, One is aware of certain rumors, sotto voce nocturnal murmurings, about large black “vehicles” that pull up in the middle of night, their “motors” running, doors open, from which numerous other Others disembark accompanied by the distinct sound of scampering feet.

So, if One assumes that these are signs of new arrivals at THE RECENTLY DEPARTED ARRIVALS LOUNGE, these new Others must be taken and housed somewhere else.

Of course it is possible that this is only One’s perception, an illusion. But, nevertheless, since THE AFTER LIFE is logically supposed to be composed of all the departed, One must be living amidst untold, unseen, unheard numbers of Others.

How to explain One’s inability to see them?

Are the powers that be shielding us from an more accurate perception of THE AFTER LIFE to alleviate the any distress it might cause us to sense the presence among us of untold trillions of Others from every time and age since the world began.

Which raises the question “How large is THE AFTER LIFE?”

And while this pro tem answer is only a murmured supposition, there is a nagging sense among us that this THE AFTER LIFE might be only one of many.

 

15. ETERNITIES

Here, One should mention that everyone here appears to be the same age. Neither young nor old.

Perhaps something in-between or even of a different category altogether. Something indeterminate, unknowable, uncertain. The word “ageless” comes to mind.

In fact, if this place exists in an eternity, One and the Others must exist eternally.

So some might all be very ancient.

Others newborn.

Yet others a bit of each.

In the end, what difference would a couple or three millennia make to those existing in an eternity.

Speaking of eternity One must broach the question of time.

To that concern, One has noted there are no “devices” here that measure time.

Also, what One may imagine remembering from One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE as markers of the passage of time, things that were called sunrise and sunset, do not seem to exist here.

Thus, what One might perceive as a “day” might just as well be things called “seconds,” “weeks,” “months,” “years,” or even “centuries.”

Thus, there may well be no time here at all.

As One vaguely remembers the meaning of time.

 

16. APPEARANCES

As there are no mirrors here, or seemingly any other reflective surfaces, One don’t know what One looks like to Oneself or to the Others or whether One’s countenance, as One remembers it, remains the same or has been altered since One’s arrival here.

Yet, when One looks into the face of the Others One feels as if One is looking at Oneself.

Thus, however differently Others may have appeared before their THE AFTER LIFE, we must in some fashion look identical now, while, at the same time, somehow appearing distinctly different and recognizable as such to each other.

We are thus not merely duplicates or clones of One another.

Not in the least, Since we recognize one’s differences.

Or perhaps, our perception of differences have changed since we first arrived?

As to other outward appearances, unless One’s perceptions are totally skewed, we are not naked.

Nor do we wear long flowing white robes (or so One believes) as One seem to recall being taught in dimly “remembered” fragments of tales from One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE.

Also, there is no playing of similarly “remembered” stringed instruments. Nor loud and incessant blowing of trumpets.

 

17. SEASONS

While there appear to be no closets, One and the Others appear to have access to an endless variety of garb for every clime and purpose.

One became aware of this one afternoon (or evening?) when One had just returned from the “outside” (One believes) dressed in “shorts” below and a “sleeveless garment” above and still felt the warmth on One’s “skin” as one of the Others entered through the “front door?” dressed in a puffed up “coat” which was covered in a white powder (snow?) that was at first cold to the touch but rapidly turned liquid. And at that same moment, inside the entrance to our “pod,” One saw both a pair of ice-encrusted “ski boots” and a pair of “flip-flops” covered with “sand.”

How to explain?

As well as no “time,” perhaps there are also no “seasons” here at as One believes One “remembers” there were in One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE?

Perhaps One’s perception and experience of “seasons” is illusory, somehow linked to some latent memory from One’s THE BEFORE THE AFTER LIFE.

Perhaps THE AFTER LIFE climate is controlled to each One and the Others half-remembered preferences.

One is uncertain.

 

18. LIVING CONDITIONS

It is hard to describe with any certainty One’s living conditions.

One is not isolated from the Others. Nor lives a separate life.

(Or so One imagines?)

At times One has a vague sense that One “inhabits,” with the Others, a comfortably sized space, which One thinks of as a “pod” or “dormitory” or “barracks,” a space without private compartments, just mutual areas.

At other times, One senses One occupies a lush green habitat.

And yet at other times One believes One is living as a “eremite” in a ramshackle hut.

Whether these “spaces” are actual structures or a mental construct, is uncertain.

One believes One sleeps, or has the illusion of “sleeping,” but One has no sense of there being a specific place where this occurs, nor if any “device” is used in “sleeping.”

Perhaps One is floating in mid-air.

One doesn’t remember One’s dreams.

Perhaps One forgets One’s dreams.

Perhaps One doesn’t dream at all.

 

19. MUSINGS

At times One “sits” with the Others around what to One might appear to be something named a “fireplace,” to an Other perhaps a “picture window” and to yet another Other, a “roundtable,” “air-conditioner” or “television.” But it could just as easily be the “stump” of a large tree or a “pile of trash” — whatever those things are.

One does not know.

And at these times One endlessly muses with the Others upon the questions that haunt us.

What is this place?

Where is this place?

Is this a Heaven?

A Hell?

A Purgatory?

Or something else entirely?

Is there a “higher” authority?

A God?

A Master?

A Chief Executive?

If so, no appearances by any such authority has come to One’s or the Others attention.

And lastly.

Most important to One and to the Others:

Is there another THE AFTER LIFE after this THE AFTER LIFE?

 

20. ENDLESS JOURNEY?

Do One and the Others remain here for all eternity?

Is Our journey at an end?

Or is this a merely a way station, a stop on the way to another level of THE AFTER LIFE?

A place called AFTER THE AFTER LIFE?

And what then?

Does this journey go on forever?

From one AFTER THE AFTER LIFE?

To another AFTER THE AFTER LIFE?

And then to yet another AFTER THE AFTER LIFE?

And another?

An endless journey?

Or is the answer different for each of Us?

One just doesn’t know.