Permission
written by: Angie Brocker
@angie_brocker
Giving myself permission to experience happiness ticks on and off like a slow motion beating of my heart
Deny
Allow
Deny
Shutting down undeserved bliss, since it will simply be wasted on someone who is incapable of fully feeling the effects is
What
I
Do
Pretending jagged words weren’t spit in my direction, since they are hidden by veils meant to strangle, justifies
Who
I
Am
Creating a monster which doesn’t exist, yet the child inside me believes in this creature until I become
Scared
Of
Myself
Casting out love I could use as a blanket to cover myself in comfort, my subconscious smacks my hand hard releasing feelings
Into
The
Wind
Putting pressure on myself to relax causes hyperventilation, stealing my dignity in short, ugly wisps
But
I’m
Breathing
Hearing people talk behind my back, in the distance, solidifies a distinct innate distrust of any worthwhile qualities I possess…even when their whispers contain
Absolutely
No
Truth
Speaking up qualifies me for labels I wouldn’t wish upon an enemy…saying nothing is considered an admission of guilt, but giving up is, at times, my only way
To
Be
Heard
Deprivation seems to be a suitable punishment for
People
Like
Me
- The Wind at The Beach - July 3, 2023
- Mother Says - September 2, 2022
- Dear Jogger - June 9, 2022
