Recipe For A Day Out
written by: P.M. Jack
INGREDIENTS:
2 children (matured for 6 and 12 years)
1 car
1 beach
1 rucksack containing snacks and drinks
Bathing suits
Several towels (as many as you think, then two more)
Buckets and spades for garnish
Optional marshmallows, sticks, and firelighter (weather dependent)
Tissues
PREP TIME:
Up to 6 days of worry, since the last time you saw them.
ACTUAL TIME:
Between 4-6 hours, depending on temperaments.
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Collect two unblemished, wonderful children from their home and gently, but quickly, transfer them into the pre-packed car.
2. Drive 30 mins to the beach. Listen to the stories of both children, taking care to listen evenly and not to overdo your own excitement at hearing every detail, even the boring bits.
3. Once at the beach, unpack all the ingredients and transfer to their favourite spot.
4. Scoop sand into buckets. Remind the children to add sea water, otherwise the sand won’t stick together to form castles. Decorate to taste with seashells.
5. Allow the children to marinate in the water and re-apply suncream regularly to ensure they don’t burn.
6. After about an hour, allow some time to settle (particularly if frustration and hunger is rising). Slowly add in snacks and drinks.
7. To avoid unwanted reactions if they stick together too long, gently separate the children by asking them to collect sticks from the clump of trees nearby. Add equal amounts of praise, irrespective of the different quantities returned.
8. Hold back three good-sized sticks, one for each of you, and arrange the rest in a pyramid before lighting.
9. Once the fire takes hold, place three large marshmallows on the sticks – remember that the youngest only likes pink marshmallows, apparently. Toast over the fire and repeat as necessary, until you all can’t eat any more.
10. Take photos by the fire – you’ll want to remember this moment the next time the recipe doesn’t turn out as planned – all smiles and laughter as they blow on the warm marshmallows, trying to get the timing right; not too hot but still gooey.
11. Encourage the children to get more sticks to keep the fire going (and them with you) a little longer.
12. At the last possible moment, pack up and remove everything from the beach. Use the towels to wipe off as much sand as possible before placing the two tired children in the car.
13. Drive the long route back to their house. When the older one asks why you’ve gone this way, make up something about the other road being closed now; once the lump in your throat settles.
14. Walk the children back up the once familiar driveway, even when they say you don’t have to. Give them both long hugs and tell them you love them whilst they tell you the best bits of their day.
15. Keep smiling when you walk back to the car, sometimes the youngest waves at the window.
16. Drive out of sight. Use tissues as required.
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