I have always wanted to be the girl from the books
Maybe in a way, I am.
In the initial chapters, having no clue of anything whatsoever.
And then, the happy ending.
I just haven’t reached the ending yet, forget the ending, I feel we are still sailing through the initial dilemma.
We are all characters in someone else’s story.
Who knows, we might just have a whole epilogue, whole giant chapters dedicated to us
Who knows, we might just be the main one in one of those stories.
And how much ever selfish, or narcissistic this sounds, I know, I know I don’t get to decide other people’s story
But there is a tiny flicker of hope. That story is yours.
That there are chapters about me that you enjoy reading.
Words, sentences you annotated to come back to, because you just loved it so much
Notes you stuck on certain pages and those thoughts you scribbled on the sides with that black marker of yours.
I hope the chapters are so lavish, so thick, so long that they, themself could be made into books
And if they were made into one, I would love for it to be hardcover.
The one that you would actually invest money on. Not the paperbacks.
I would like to be the book you would put in front of your bookshelf, no, not the display kinds, but the ones you just can’t get enough of seeing.
The ones you just can’t get enough of reading.
I would like to be the book you carry to the coffee shop every day, the ones that are just there with you, wherever you go.
The book on the tip of your tongue every time someone asks for a beautiful read. The by-the-window-with-a-mug-of-coffee-while-its- raining kinda book.
The book you would lie to someone for if they ask to borrow, so that you can just have it for yourself
I hope the words in the book make you fall in love. The characters make you dream.
I know, I know you are busy, but you are not to me. I keep thinking about what you are thinking if you are thinking about me.
I keep reading like you would read if you were reading about me.
I know I am being selfish, but I hope you never get to keep the book down and even if you do, you always pick it back up.
There are parts in the book where you would be staring at a mirror.
Where you would be reading about yourself, or rather about my version of you.
Vulnerable words full of emotions.
You would read about the nights I stare up at the ceiling with the thin film playing behind my eyelashes, day dreams, no night dreams.
Thoughts about you. Thoughts about you thinking of me unaware that I am thinking of you.
Thoughts about me dreaming about you dreaming about me.
It can get confusing, but that’s just how the book is supposed to be. Bittersweet.
If not the book itself,
I hope I am one of those characters in your book.
You know the one I am talking about.
Pavithra CP is a 17-year-old, high school student from India who believes in the transformative and healing power of words. Driven by the magic and essence of literature, she takes pride in providing the best work possible. Her work has been published in multiple platforms such as the Delhi Post and the prestigious Hearth Magazine. It has also been published in many other platforms including the Bloom Magazines. She has also participated and presented her poems in various open mics in the city. She is a part of the WtW community and enjoys poetry.