Unspoken Fears
written by: Llaka Tshesane
The thoughts sneak in slowly,
From how you’ve lost a parent
To how you’re only left with one.
They wander to the hidden spots,
To the avoided sensitive topic
And to The unspoken fears
Of waking up to a crying brother
Or a broken sister
The questions marching thoroughly in the head are a lot
So much it feels wrong to ask all of them
The guilt of already knowing the answer
The fear that you might be right
The absence of the late already felt
“I am sorry, We did everything we could…”
The man in a white coat would say
And you’d break before the end of the sentence
Before it even registers. For there was no smile in his eyes,
There was no “okay” in that phrase,
All there was was a shaky smile to the face and a tired expression.
And then it creeps in,
How you are of no parents,
Your bad deeds in their days feed of you
“It’s all my fault…” you’d conclude.
“I should have…” you’d add.
Before later, you realise they’re all just thoughts.
Thoughts you then decide to bury too deep down.
Afraid if you spit them to one,
They might become reality.
- How She Lost It - August 25, 2018
- Unspoken Fears - August 1, 2018
