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written by: Sahitya
Introspection of the mind
The basic purpose of life is to live a life of contentment and to move forward. Some of us are blessed with having a job that is supposedly their dreams. Sadly, most of us work just for the money and thank the weekend to pull off what we want to! So, I was asked to write on my daily routines by my counselor primarily to keep my mind occupied as I was told, I was suffering from "Thought disorder". As an ordinary man would, I got offended with the term and felt ashamed to feel weak.
There was this deep pain that had settled for a long time now that it feels comfortable to my skin now! But the problem is that it stays there silently whispering to me about all the memories and I stab and suppress it until it starts eating my brain! That’s when you start alarming. Your inner self starts wandering for a support system and gets help from the near ones which is a temporary fodder for the brain.
Once the voices hit the ceiling, your trusted ones fail to fall into your prey and direct you to the counselor. A stranger who knows nothing about you.
I was reluctant to meet anyone. My parents were hesitant to admit that I had depression. But they persuaded me in talking to the counsellor and told not to utter to anyone as that would kindle the minds of my loveable relatives for an interesting topic that too in the weekend which would definitely be an icing on the cake!
I woke up the next day telling myself to not cry and act in front of the counsellor that I am strong enough and blabber some shit and exit as quickly as possible! I prepared myself and walked out of the door. I reached the place of asylum which definitely put me into a different perspective after the session. I was waiting impatiently for my turn. To my bad luck, my counsellor was late by half an hour and my anxiety level was rising high up. Suddenly I saw a lady with extreme curls and a serene look with a beautiful smile! There she was my counselor, I smiled back with less enthusiasm obviously! She called my name and I followed her putting my face down.
She politely told me to sit on a comfortable chair and took her pad to write all my creepy stories.
One hour of weeping and she looked at the clock and said with a gentle voice that the session was done. I went back home with a label “Thought Disorder” but with less weight in my heart only to my surprise that the soothing feeling was short lived!
Any external medication for the mind lasts for a short span unless battled by oneself.