Candy, flash fiction written by Doug Hawley at Spillwords.com
Danie Franco

Candy

Candy

written by: Doug Hawley

@DougHawley8

 

Their leader Joe started off the post-Halloween meeting.

“How did you do Henry?”

“I did fine Joe. I got two kilograms total. Mostly the usual, but two Big Hunks. My year is made. Of course, my haul won’t last until next year, but I’ll have my memories.”

“How about you Mary?”

“Beat Henry. More than three kilograms. Marshmallow peanuts, Dots, Snickers, Mounds. All of the wonderful, unhealthy, gooey, treats.”

Henry countered “Yeah, but you got handfuls of loot from pervy middle-aged guys. You could almost see them slobber over a pert twelve-year old girl.”

Mary pouted “You’re just a poor loser.”

Joe suggested “I think you’re both right. Henry is a poor loser, and perverts did drool over Mary. My take was somewhere between what you two got. Some was fruit though. Ugh, healthy.”

“Next topic. Will the neighborhood that we visited work for another year?”

Mary “I think so. It paid off well and I think that nobody will ask any questions. We won’t look older, but nobody should notice under our outfits.”

“This time I agree with Mary. If she doesn’t use her Lolita appeal, I’ll beat her next year.”

“You’re on. Loser has to split his or her candy with the winner?”

“Deal.”

“I was the alien this year, so I didn’t need a costume. Which of you wants to be alien next year?”

“I’ll be the alien so Henry can’t claim that I’m the Lolita. Anyway, it will save me from needing a costume.”

Mary asked “Joe, did you punish the families that didn’t get us treats?”

“I’m letting them off easy. Mold over every surface of their houses.”

“Last question. Now that we are taking off to our home planet, can we go back to our real names?”

“Right. No more Mary, I’m back to Zorg.”

“Henry was so hard to pronounce. Glad to be Zwpx again.”

Lsmft said “Joe wasn’t too bad.”

“Everybody ready to leave? Let’s join hands and click heels.”

Henry said “I hate travelling with Zorg. She always gets so gassy.”

“Hey, it isn’t easy for me. I smelt it and I dealt it. Plus, space travel gives me migraines.”

Lsmft “At least we get to leave earth. I love the candy that we can’t get on Zxtq, but the heavy oxygen makes me ill, and the inhabitants are so dull and violent. Let’s Go!”

click

Doug Hawley

Doug Hawley

Doug Hawley lives on the left coast of the USA. His five hundred or so publications are spread over many publications (Short Humour #1), countries (UK is #1), genres (humo(u)r hybrid #1) and lengths (mostly short story and flash). Two significant publications were written in 2015 - Reprieve (pandemic story before it was cool) and a religious story pronounced elrod (word won't let me spell it because it has two *) but are still being published.
Doug Hawley

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