Don’t Drag Me Back to Hell
written by: Naseha Sameen
@nasehaSameen
I look in the mirror, Darkness looks back.
An Abyss opening; To take me to its depth.
Devoured souls wail with agony
Hell hounds rip them – shred by shred
I remember, I remember it all
Cries were frozen in throat
When molten lead of sweet sarcasm sizzled me
Inside out, while I searched for approval
I searched for a moment when I would be
A part of the group, weird child was I always
No good was I, my blood was tar black
I lived because I could not die
I opened my mouth, thorns spewed out
Hurting my soul, every moment I sunk deeper
Crossed a lane, leaving behind the blazing sun
The blasting eyes that looked down on me
I made my own world, brick after brick
Took me years to smile radiantly
Took me years to go out and meet the world
Took me years to say, yes I can, and I will
Each day, I explored a gift that was me
It was a merry, white and snowy Christmas
I crossed another bridge, found a similar land
Similar faces, a life where smiles were rare
I was a stranger again, fighting the evils in me
Not to sink again in boiling tar of self-doubt
To preserve what I had built, to cherish me
I fight a battle with my genes to be what I am
I am fighting a war with my instincts that says Give Up
Crawling my way out of the fast engulfing sink hole
That threatened to take all that I have created in last years
And give me back a frightened, angry, afraid girl who spew gloom
Don’t drag me back to hell, it took years to patch the soul
To hold the mirror and for once see a smile looking back
I did trade my soul for your happiness, give up my life
Never good was any of it. I am fading, I can keep no more
Let me be, holding the frayed, chewed and breaking rope of hope
I want to hold it as long as I can, till hands go numb, icy and heavy
Don’t drag me back to a place I have crawled out from. It was never my home,
I would never be home, I would be just a shadow of the lesser person
- A Lone Shadow - August 14, 2021
- Lone in Death - February 1, 2021
- Silent Night - March 19, 2020