Feeding The Beasts
written by: Kimberly Burnham
@KimberlyBurnham
It’s only when we finally see
the consequence of our actions
the pained look on a step-child’s face
the dent on our car bumper
the fear in a dog’s eyes
the scale after binging on chocolate
It’s only when we finally see that we are already loved
and important, we don’t have to do anything more
just stay the course of who we are
we are who is loved when we can be authentic
It’s only when we finally tell the truth
our fears connect with others who are afraid
without bravado or bluster, we can say
I am sorry, I didn’t think, I see that you are trying,
thank you for feeding the dogs or the goats or the bearded dragon
everyone needs to be fed but we don’t need to do everything
It’s only when we feed ourselves healthy food
pick organic raspberries from the garden
straight down the gullet in the coolness of the early Spokane morning
then weed around the fruit bushes and let there be weeds
both can be true when we let others be themselves
bees and snakes and giant bumblebees
the garden’s a happy organic place
where there is hot, demanding work but so much satisfaction
It’s only when we finally forgive ourselves for an affair, a lie,
a mean-spirited word, not doing what we promised in a timely manner
didn’t reach out when we knew someone was in pain
so consumed with our own challenges, guilt and grief
see and let go
the very best is out of reach
everyone who loves has their own struggles
we can help by forgiving ourselves
be more present
When we remember an afternoon at a conference
someone told a story of personal accomplishment
setting the bar so high that we could only cry in the bathroom
providing a distraction for others also feeling inadequate
the task of comforting us doable
helping us to understand we are all enough never perfect
layer by layer like Russian nesting dolls
we get to be more perfect
and it only matters that we are kind, as kind as can be
we don’t need to be as rich or as strong or as accomplished
we are what we can be beneath the layers and layers of self-judgment
which we can finally shed like books from college we no longer need
haven’t even looked at in the last forty years
just boxing them up and carting them from one place to another
like our guilt and shame
- Feeding The Beasts - July 24, 2024
