Life Demands To Be Felt, prose by Arzu Deniz at Spilwords.com

Life Demands To Be Felt

Life Demands To Be Felt

written by: Arzu Deniz

@denizired

 

He walked inside my room and asked if I wanted to talk about it, and I looked at him, yes, escaping my lips unintentionally. He sat there on the couch beside me, my gaze fixed on the snow outside the window and his on my face. He then presented a chalice filled with a strange-looking liquid to the brim.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Remember how you always cry, and I always tell you that I will find you a cure? This is the cure that I found for you and your misery,” he replied.

I looked at him, and this time my gaze was fixed on his eyes. There was a glint—a mischievous one. I smiled and took the chalice from his hand, joining it with my lips, and as I gulped the liquid down my throat, my gaze never left his eyes.

I knew at that moment that I would soon leave this worldly passage, but I had to tell him something that he wasn’t expecting from me—something broken but somehow true.

“I will always remember how my life demanded to be felt. It made me go through many things; it made me walk through hell, and it made me set myself on fire to light the path that I was walking on. But do you know the saddest thing it made me experience? It was to love you. See, here I am sitting with the man I once loved, and to end my misery, he has presented me with poison in the name of cure. This was that one demanding test of my life that I was not ready for.”

His eyes softened as my words faded into the air, and he tried to hold my hand. His eyes no longer held that glint, and his lips quivered as if, in the next moment, he’d burst into tears, but I couldn’t see any in his dry eyes.
I could see his lips moving. He said something inaudible. Was it an apology, or was it a justification?

Before I could hear it properly, I woke up drenched in sweat. I sighed and pulled my now-wet hair away from my face. It was just another nightmare where the love that I paid for came back to haunt me once more because I was still alive and my life was still demanding to be felt.

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