I was a kid when I looked up at the sky
I was a kid when I pointed my finger at that star
I was a kid when I made that solemn vow that night
I was just a little kid with a big dream
A small body with a huge energy
I was innocent but my eyes were a mystery
All that was flashing through my mind was success
I was feeling a twinge of envy for those TV superstars
I was praying god help me confess
Until that day when courage filled my heart
And my lips finally whispered my plan
Mama, I do remember that look in your eyes,
That surge of anxiety you felt,
That lack of confidence you had in me,
Those questions written on your face,
Would I be able to survive?
Would I make it alive?
Papa, I still think about what you wanted me to be,
An open-minded child with a brighter destiny,
You were standing still like a silent hill,
It smashed my hope but it didn’t tear my faith apart
I was running through blurry woods
Looking for the right door
To take me where I thought I belong,
Yes I made it that time
Mother father, drew that smile but it was obviously fake
I wasn’t ready to quit
I was fully aware, it was my journey,
I swore that I would be the pride of my family
I ignored my adventuring youth and work hard for the glory
I endured the pain and aches in order to write my story
After everything I’ve done, here I am,
Felt like my fingertips are barely touching my childhood star
But visibly, it ain’t my Betelgeuse supernova
I’m swimming in an ocean of doubts
Still wondering if this is really what I chose
Day by day I keep questioning myself
Did I make a mistake?
Those people who have been walking just half of my path
Are already holding their shooting stars
Shining like a diamond
Just tell me who’s to blame?
Give me just one answer, why I’m stuck here going nowhere?
I’ve got a million queries choking me
I tried to run away but they keep following me
As soon as I blink my eyelids, I see my dreams fly away
Every day they price my talent but still underrated
You say it’s not my fault so tell me why I can’t keep moving on?
My future is covered by those heavy clouds
So what could happen if I lost myself in the middle of this road?
What if I fall down and live like a forgotten shadow?
I’m completely lost but I’m not strong enough to start over
Maybe I should come through this shit until my life’s nightmare wind up
Would I be able to see the light at the end of this show?
Or maybe die midway with an extensive regret?
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
My Betelgeuse Supernova, is a poem adaptation of a short story written by Rose Bleue.
As a writer of the main story “My Betelgeuse Supernova” this has always been my dream to help the readers out there to express their feelings about those who try to achieve their dreams. I know many readers want to catch them but talent isn’t enough to catch your childhood star.
From my personal experience I always dreamed to be someone who can express emotions using my voice. I’m working very hard to get there, and at the moment, I’m one step near to what I’m looking for but the closer I get to my dream the more I’m getting confused. Is this the right path? Is this what I really want? Until today I still can’t find the correct answer. But I realized something important, everything we see is not as good as we’re expecting.
To be honest I hesitated and thought a lot before writing this but thanks to PYG’s support in terms of emotion I bravely made this tough decision to write this story. I would like to say thank you to PYG’s Whisper and her team for make one of my dreams become true. I’m inexperienced in lot of terms but they’re helping me with a lot of things. I believe that writing and poetry are both connected as one and I know PYG’s poetic spirit will deliver a deeper meaning of my story.
I hope that my collaboration with PYG’s Whisper will inspire you and help you ease your tension.
― Rose Bleue