Norma Queen
written by: Lucreția Lixandru
@lulusbadideas
an educated girl won’t talk like that.
why don’t you wear heels?
be more feminine. what do you mean
you don’t know how to put on some makeup?
boys don’t like it when you are doing that
doing what?
bringing up arguments to support your view
they don’t like it, they
feel threatened by women like you
learn to play dumb, she said,
otherwise they will dump you
what do you mean you don’t
want to get married?
you’ll see,
there will come a day in your life
when all of this will be nonsense:
the day when you’ll be madly falling
in love.
you don’t want to have kids,
you choose your career?
how can you
be so selfish to choose
to live your life just for yourself?
be a good daughter,
bring your parents some grandchildren
into this wild, sick world.
Norma Queen told me
with the voices of all the women I’ve loved
that my femininity is shattered.
that independence is bad to pursue
when it involves being able
to live as you please, without longing
after a man’s gaze,
after the communitary approval
how dare you be like that?
I grew up blooming against all labels
becoming my own kind of woman,
protecting what’s dear, what’s sacred,
the softness that nurtures
myself and the others, keeping
the world moving day after day.
I became my own
before being anyone else’s,
the girl
who wants hot pink peonies,
dark coffee, with her cat in her lap,
looking at the sunset and smiling
while she knows that she made it,
she lives
the life she’s always wanted.
she didn’t grow up as mature,
I’ve overheard her saying,
she’s left the same
kind, warm-hearted child.
since when
is a sign of maturity to be
a bitter, unhappy, empty-eyes woman?
I’ve ran out of time
for those who never made time for me
even if
deep down, in a really deep place,
is a spirit that only wants to be loved.
a playful, honest, childish love,
untainted by society’s venom,
untied of material stuff,
happy to gaze at the stars with a warm tea
and a hand holding hers. a love
committed to explore and express,
not playing mind games and calling that
teasing.
life will always begin in the place
where fear goes to sleep
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