Ode To The Spark That Still Lives Inside My Chest
written by: Valentyna Holloway
@valentynedreams
You’ll do something terrible.
You’ll kiss someone else with that mouth,
and it will be all over with me when You do.
But You will look for me everywhere.
Everything You see will be me.
You will come back as a ghost —
just to find my lips again.
And I will forgive You,
but I won’t be able to forget,
because my skin is mine,
but it was also Yours.
We charted maps
and I am trying to rip them up now,
because You forgot how to defend me
and when you did it was already too late.
You let them tear me to pieces.
You needed to say more. To do more.
I need to take back my knowledge of Your secrets.
Erase Your knowledge of my weaknesses.
The memory of gasps when You touched me.
Of the there, and there, and there.
Of Your eyes in the darkness
when You thought I wasn’t watching.
Because instead of fighting
when I was wounded and retreating
You kissed another mouth,
and maybe it was Your denial
or maybe it felt good.
Or maybe it was just trying to run away from the truth.
But You come back to me.
Defending.
With open arms and an open heart.
And I’m gone.
I have a sheltered happiness
and I cannot let anything else in.
I cannot give in to You.
I cannot run to You.
I cannot look for You.
And I cannot let You ever know
a part of me will love You forever.
And I forgive You.
I forgive You.
I forgive You.
I forgive You.
- Lie To Me - January 5, 2018
- Ode To The Spark That Still Lives Inside My Chest - October 25, 2017
- Quiver - July 14, 2017
