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The Lightbulb Farmer
written by: Stephanie Musarra
“George, are you using the drone to spy on the neighbor again?” Erica sighed,
“You’ve got to find a better hobby.”
“You wouldn’t believe what he’s doing honey,” he said as he studied the monitor.
“He’s putting all his farm equipment, and livestock for sale.”
“That’s enough,” she said, as she closed her husband’s laptop. Ever since you had that damn knee replacement, all you ever do is spy on the neighbor. Poor Arthur must be having financial troubles. C’mon, watch a movie with me, or at least play a few hands of rummy.”
George grumbled, as he wheeled himself into the living room.
Erica woke up coughing.
George wheeled himself to the window, as the aroma of smoke filled his nostrils, and irritated his lungs. “I told you the neighbor is crazy! He’s out there at 3 a.m. setting fire to his crops!”
“Just shut the window,” Erica replied, “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I’ll talk to Arthur, and see what’s going on.”
She rolled over and went to sleep.
A couple of months later, George noticed that his neighbor was planting lightbulbs in his field.
Later that evening, George approached Arthur to inquire about his erratic behavior.
Arthur didn’t respond and stared blankly into the sky.
George became frustrated. His drone was no longer able to pick up footage of his neighbor’s bizarre activities. “I’ve got to get him out of my mind! I’ve got to get him out of my mind! If I call the men in white coats to pick him up, he’ll no longer interrupt my life.”
He dialed the operator. “Hello, can you connect me to social serv-“
The phone slid out of his hand, as he caught a glimpse of his neighbor’s bizarre crops. The lightbulbs grew to the size of palm trees. They were emitting a strange fluorescent green glow.
He gulped down a glass of whiskey, as he watched a triangular spaceship land in Arthur’s field.
A group of tentacled aliens emerged from the ship and thanked Arthur for helping them prepare a landing strip.