Who was that guy that said hello?
You have a man, does he know?
Why did you smile? Why did you speak?
Have you always been this weak?
I think he likes you, keep your space,
Wash that lipstick off your face.
I told you no, you can’t wear that,
Have you always been this fat?
Can you tell the time? It’s past eight,
Don’t tell me ‘The bus was late’.
Where have you been? And don’t you lie,
Were you with another guy?
I said I’m sorry. I shouldn’t shout,
But just this once, hear me out.
I never meant to cause you pain,
And I won’t do that again.
Quit your job, I don’t trust the men,
Your family or your friends.
Who did you text? Who did you call?
You can’t speak to them, at all.
Don’t be so loud, don’t be so thick,
Look at you, you make me sick.
You’re damaged goods, a vile whore,
Who would want you anymore?
I don’t know what came over me,
It’s just passion, can’t you see?
Why do you flinch when I come near?
It wasn’t me, no need for fear.
I have never done that before,
So please don’t walk out the door.
It wasn’t even that hard a hit,
You can’t tell me this is it.
It’s not abuse, it’s just a fight,
I’m the one that’s in the right.
We both know that you’re to blame,
You’ll have to live with your shame.
The bones will mend and cuts will heal,
But think about how I feel.
I barely touch you, then you cry
Have you ever asked me why?
It’s all your fault, you make me wild
Then you whimper like a child.
All great love stories are intense
It’s not toxic, have some sense.
You pushed my buttons, drove me mad
Why are you the one that’s sad?
You didn’t listen, you made me snap,
I don’t have to take your crap.
Police are here, what did you do?
Hide your bruises, bite marks too.
They won’t believe a word you say,
But be quiet or you’ll pay.
You’ll say you tripped or that you fell,
Shut your mouth and never tell.
You were clumsy and you mis-stepped,
They will see that you’re inept.
Now wipe that blood clean off your face,
Don’t you leave a single trace.
Sweep up the glass, sort out the mess,
Throw away that torn up dress.
If you hide or you try to run,
I’ll grab my knife and my gun.
I’ll hunt you down and drag you back,
And give you one final smack.
Nowhere to go, nowhere to turn,
It’s about time that you learn,
I’m all you have, mine from the start,
I said my vows from the heart…
‘Til Death Do Us Part.’
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
I wrote this poem as a form of therapy following domestic abuse. I hope that it can educate people on domestic abuse namely how it begins and how it isn’t as simple as just leaving. I hope that it can help somebody in a similar situation. I wrote a series of poems starting with this one to reclaim my voice – as this is the first, it still uses the voice of the abuser with the poems progressing back to my own voice as I reclaimed it over time. It is the first in my chronicle of healing through writing.