Ashes Ashes
written by: Viktoria Nikola
@ViktoriaNNK
The dimming cinders of my spirit
Lay glowing feebly in the night
The smoke escaped my every merit
The arsonist: life’s pain and plight
My vessel’s blood rolled with a smolder
My passioned breath – a fev’rish dream
Here I have died, my ash grows colder
The air still vibrates with my scream
And yet a tale, I dare remember
Intangible, deep as the skies
That I exist still in these embers
And that a phoenix I shall rise
I’ll rise, and soar above my ashes
The pain I felt – a memory
The blaze, my death, might come in flashes
But stay a dying reverie
I’ll rise, but I am dust in limbo
The fire scents my senses stir
I’ll wait to cool, then from this pyre
I’ll rise. And be the firebird
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
Life is filled of difficult moments and beautiful moments. I’ve recently come to think of the hardships as the fire that burns a phoenix. And yet in the end, we rise again.
In 1991 my family and I immigrated to America from Russia. I didn't become fluent in English until I was about eight years old. Even so, I wrote my first poem in English when I was 12 and my first story when I was 13. However, instead of thinking "Eureka! I've found my calling!" I thought: "What an adorable hobby." In fact, since I was a musician’s daughter, my mind was set on becoming a musician. A violinist, a guitarist, a vocalist - any one of them would do.
Once I was accepted to UC Davis, however, I was far too busy with my classes to pursue a music career. I started studying history. Then picked up classics. I fell in love with the mysteries of the ancient world and began thinking of pursuing a Ph.D. in either subject. Or perhaps of becoming an archaeologist. However, after an unsuccessful archaeological internship, I decided against the scholastic world.
Eventually, I found my way to Traditional Chinese Medicine: part history, part philosophy, and big part natural therapeutics. I've always been attracted to holistic medicine and thought this was a nice blend of all the things I loved. However, after spending a few years in the Master's program for acupuncture, I realized something was still missing. That's when I sat down to write a poem, as I so often did when the muse called, but instead of a poem, a novel came pouring out. So here I am, still writing poetry and brainstorming my next few novels.
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