Elegy For A Young Poet, by Catherine Gigante-Brown at Spillwords.com

Elegy For A Young Poet

Elegy For A Young Poet

written by: Catherine Gigante-Brown



In memory of Noah, who took his life by drowning on 10/20/13 at age 19


Everyone has thought about it
at least once or twice
if they’re completely honest.
So to say you can’t imagine it
is a lie.
But to actually do it
is unthinkable,
especially now
when I’ve been fighting
so hard to live
for the past few months,
filling my body with poison
to heal it,
letting the doctors
cut away a piece of me
to save the rest.

Yet still,
I understand the emptiness
that fills your every thought,
your every breath,
that pain
like the sharp stab
deep in a tooth
that will not go away
that will not be ignored,
that will not shut the fuck up,
even when you beg it to,
even when you ask it sweetly
with all of your being.

I understand the infinite sadness
that made you do it,
so unbearably profound,
but I cannot accept it, beautiful boy,
and I will not.

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