Fear of Flying
written by: Tamsen Grace
when I was little I always dreamed I could fly
I would run and jump and it would launch me into the air,
I actually thought it wasn’t a dream and I would try it from time to time
one time I launched too hard and landed on my face and got a bloody nose and scraped my chin,
but I kept trying and I was always surprised when I fell
I also had dreams where I was afraid of falling,
I would sit way up high on a ledge and I knew if I made one wrong move
I would fall forever and never stop,
so I just stayed very, very still
as I grew I stopped trying to fly,
I knew you couldn’t ever really fly if you were afraid of falling so I just tried to stay still and follow the path
the shortest distance between two points is a straight line
so I went straight,
with my feet on the ground,
I put my dreams aside,
and just tried to reach the next point
they never told me that the world could drop out beneath your feet,
that you could be stepping so carefully along, and your world could shift,
sending you free-falling down deeper and deeper,
until you land face first on the ground
I lay there for a time, shocked that I had fallen
the one thing about being on the bottom
is you know you don’t have any farther to fall
I stayed still for awhile, in the darkness,
thinking about the path before me,
afraid to continue, but afraid to stay
I got up and stepped forward again,
then I ran and jumped into the air,
for a brief second I was airborne,
until I fell on my face
now I try to fly,
I am still afraid of falling but I have realized,
that when you run at life this way you get places faster and you really don’t have that far to fall
I have also gotten better at landing on my feet
and for the few seconds I am airborne,
I am finally free
- Fear of Flying - January 24, 2024
- Spaces - March 25, 2022
- The Body Count Is Rising - January 9, 2020
