My Darkness
written by: Sheri M. Stewart
It descends again
I’m screaming in darkness
just wishing for an end
waiting for the next bout to begin
Heralded by the death of interest
a crushing weight of existence
the smile becomes fixed and plastic
placed to spare the innocent.
I can feel the bars of my cage
knowing it’s futile to fight
their solidity sure and seamless
I am sealed in tight.
The bars are carved from my failures
for others protection not my own
I know the black death within
is ready to leak outward to devour.
While I have life and love
I give it all away
knowing it isn’t enough
and it will be drained
What I give
isn’t what they need or want
so what does it matter
when I run dry?
Desperate to hide my lack
my gifts are marveled at for a time
but it isn’t what is desired
of a wife or mother.
Rejected time and again
I have learned I’m not wanted
what I have and am are flawed
and that hurts worse than death.
So I enter my cage
with barbs pointed inward
and smile as they pierce me
so none will know.
I scream within my mind
as the darkness swallows me
and the barbs tear my flesh
while I smile at the world.
- Disparagement - August 15, 2022
- Dear Mom - September 2, 2021
- Feminism Forgot - June 12, 2021
