My Darkness

My Darkness

written by: Sheri M. Stewart

It descends again
I’m screaming in darkness
just wishing for an end
waiting for the next bout to begin

Heralded by the death of interest
a crushing weight of existence
the smile becomes fixed and plastic
placed to spare the innocent.

I can feel the bars of my cage
knowing it’s futile to fight
their solidity sure and seamless
I am sealed in tight.

The bars are carved from my failures
for others protection not my own
I know the black death within
is ready to leak outward to devour.

While I have life and love
I give it all away
knowing it isn’t enough
and it will be drained

What I give
isn’t what they need or want
so what does it matter
when I run dry?

Desperate to hide my lack
my gifts are marveled at for a time
but it isn’t what is desired
of a wife or mother.

Rejected time and again
I have learned I’m not wanted
what I have and am are flawed
and that hurts worse than death.

So I enter my cage
with barbs pointed inward
and smile as they pierce me
so none will know.

I scream within my mind
as the darkness swallows me
and the barbs tear my flesh
while I smile at the world.

• About
• Latest Posts

Sheri M. Stewart

I am interested in and fascinated by so many things in the world around me. I am a dreamer and a lover. I endure great pain and sadness. I am bi-polar. I have learned to embrace the many facets of who I am. I chose to view my illness as just another part of what makes me unique. I write as a form of self-expression and art. I share in the hopes that others can identify with my writing and know they are not alone.

Latest posts by Sheri M. Stewart (see all)

• Disparagement - August 15, 2022
• Dear Mom - September 2, 2021
• Feminism Forgot - June 12, 2021