My Darkness, a poem written by Sheri M. Stewart at Spillwords.com

My Darkness

My Darkness

written by: Sheri M. Stewart

 

It descends again
I’m screaming in darkness
just wishing for an end
waiting for the next bout to begin

Heralded by the death of interest
a crushing weight of existence
the smile becomes fixed and plastic
placed to spare the innocent.

I can feel the bars of my cage
knowing it’s futile to fight
their solidity sure and seamless
I am sealed in tight.

The bars are carved from my failures
for others protection not my own
I know the black death within
is ready to leak outward to devour.

While I have life and love
I give it all away
knowing it isn’t enough
and it will be drained

What I give
isn’t what they need or want
so what does it matter
when I run dry?

Desperate to hide my lack
my gifts are marveled at for a time
but it isn’t what is desired
of a wife or mother.

Rejected time and again
I have learned I’m not wanted
what I have and am are flawed
and that hurts worse than death.

So I enter my cage
with barbs pointed inward
and smile as they pierce me
so none will know.

I scream within my mind
as the darkness swallows me
and the barbs tear my flesh
while I smile at the world.

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