Mom, you were the first to teach me love.
Today I found out the angels called you back above.
I know you were gone long before you passed,
yet I hoped that I would see you before the last.
Today that hope was taken from me
and I know your face I will never again see.
I think you would tell me don’t dwell on denied goodbyes.
Think instead on next reunion and a joyous Hi.
I am trying not to shed sorrow filled tears
thinking of all you’ve taught me over the years.
I let you live as you wanted and honored your wishes.
It must have pained you to miss your grandkid’s kisses.
I’m sorry mom kind I can not be,
to the one who kept you from me.
It angers me you were gone and I wasn’t told.
I’m trying not to be angry, bitter and cold.
He came to me and dared to ask
but taking care of him is not my task.
Forgive me mom as I turn him aside
but even your death from me he did hide.
I am left to honor you with these simple verses,
I’m saying what others do with flowers and hearses.
I will honor you by teaching my kids love and grace
But also self respect as I turn away his face.
Your loving heart was too good for him by far.
He’s paying for sins and that is how things are.
I’ll carry your love with me wherever I go
but I’ll also let others reap what they sow.
I am interested in and fascinated by so many things in the world around me. I am a dreamer and a lover. I endure great pain and sadness. I am bi-polar. I have learned to embrace the many facets of who I am. I chose to view my illness as just another part of what makes me unique. I write as a form of self-expression and art. I share in the hopes that others can identify with my writing and know they are not alone.