Peeling Back The Layers
written by: Matthew Sweatt
Aftermath of having to have a hard heart
An almost but never to be family suffers
Divided emotionally
Those bitter feelings leave your heart
And you’re left with sadness
Because none of this has to be
It never did
No purpose does this division serve
How did this get so far?
I don’t ask the question enough
But going with the woeful flow
I have tried to reach out in the past
Screaming for one of them to look my way
Now for one, maybe more it is too late
This madness must end, but it isn’t up to me
I am the hated one, but yet I cannot fathom why?
Is it my looks, my being, my love, my flaws?
I don’t know, I can’t know, I won’t know
Because the answers rely on the one who hates
That hatred that has stemmed much further than
Two that control all of my world
Hatred that serves no purpose again
Love must be learned, it must be
But first that love must be wanted.
Peeling layers from myself from skin to bone
Searching through the sinew to see if it is indeed me
On my darkest days it truly feels like it is
On my lightest days the truth peaks its eluding head
Laughing at me, taunting me, I want to grasp it
I want to know so badly that I’ll tear my own soul
Apart and rip and gnash and scream until I truly
Know why, what have I done, why do you all hate
Why when so much has been wasted, strewn away
I’ve learned so much, and I can show all of you
I will show all of you if I have to sew your eyes open
I deserve your audience because you will surely have mine,
I swear this on my soul.
No more lies no more half-truths
Feel my light as it slowly begins from that small
Ember, my love is the kindling and my soul is the fire
Feel my love as it blasts you all to hell
Because you deserve no less
After all these years.
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
I wrote this in a time of self-loathing and I’m sure we’ve all been there. I wanted to get some release and this is what came to be. Release with me.
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