The Old Lady Goes Grocery Shopping, poetry by Joan McNerney at

The Old Lady Goes Grocery Shopping

The Old Lady Goes Grocery Shopping

written by: Joan McNerney


First of all, it is difficult to express
how much I hate this crappy store
plus facing so many sour looks.

Can only purchase a few things
because of all those stairs I must
climb getting to my apartment.

First I walk around in a trance
trying to find my few items.
Next comes the horrible part.

No matter how great my effort, it is
impossible to keep up with cashiers.
They rush us through like cattle.

The conveyor belt is too fast for words.
I just put my groceries out and they
are priced. Next comes my debit card.

Some places also want their special
store card. This is to take advantage
of their measly sales. Thrilling.

Where is my debit card? O there it is,
but it is hard to get the sequence of keys
right. How many people are behind me?

Of course, they would like me to bag
my own stuff. I HAVE NEVER DONE
THAT even in my more youthful days.

Always have to repack everything anyway.
Some items can be left in my car but
most must be lugged up to my kitchen.

Leaving the store with the sinking
sensation of being too slow. Tramping
down to my vehicle with some wobbly cart.

What is this “have a nice day” bull?
Boy, am glad that is over and don’t care
if their cart lands up in Siberia.

Can’t wait to get home to a long beer.

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