The Disease to Please written by J.Ahlberg at

The Disease To Please

The Disease to Please

written by: J.Ahlberg



Listen to me; I’m old and unwise,

A victim of your love; you cared

Because I looked a certain way,

The Queen of Women’s Workout

Food regurgitated; tape on loop


Sex kitten; all men Smitten

Millions of dollars; three husbands

Years of regret that –

I wasn’t a better parent

Or feminist. You’re worth it.

Buy L’Oreal.


I was Fonda(d) to believe

That no meant yes,

Before the women’s movement

Bought the copyright

To the premier ‘No means No’.


Wait til you get to the ‘f—you fifties.’

Be braver and feistier

With a fresh new face

Don’t laugh; can’t laugh

Ageism is alive.


The surgeon couldn’t reconstruct feminism

And mold it from my mouth into my DNA

It’s malignant –

The disease to please.



Jo is an academic researcher in the philosophy of Imagination. She has several jobs which include: university lecturer in philosophy, GCSE English teacher and a "jobbing" writer - writing commissions from multimillion pound international bids to annoying cliched flyers. In her spare time, she is walked by the dog, organised by the kids and validated by her husband.

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