Two Years Since You Left
written by: SmithaV
@SmithaVishwana4
Dear Papa,
It’s two years since you’ve been gone
There are things I need to update you on
I’m in a better place now than I was a year ago
I think of you but the tears don’t in turbulence flow
I find it easier now to talk to you
You’re able to focus and hear
me without the din caused by Pain and Fear
I’ve moved from the country
and I realize I was ready
‘Coz with every passing year, I stayed on
after you, it made me feel you’d gone
a little too soon and that your angst of separation was pointless
‘Why couldn’t you have lived longer?’
the question rankled in my brain like a splinter
But, now I know better; you planned it right
‘Coz sifting through the stuff takes time- not just the tangibles in sight
But the intangibles: grief, hurt, guilt and the desiderium, I needed to get rid
of. I packed the valuables, put a lid
and tucked it away safely. I opened it only to let the sun in and to wipe off
time’s silvery dust and feathery mould that has a way of sneaking
up when one’s not looking.
Two years on, I see why you were in a rage
Before you escaped the skeletal cage
that kept you from living. I feel you in our new home in this country
And I realize dying set you free.
I know you’ve been busy doing what you love
‘Coz my sister said she felt you on the other side of the ocean
And I hear you’ve been to down under country too, from the children.
Love,
Your daughter forever
SmithaV
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- Interview Q&A With Smitha Vishwanath - March 16, 2023
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