She Was A Boy
written by: Nicole Cheng
@NicoleCheng13
Once upon a time,
There was a young child
Who grew up with pain and despair
Because she was uncomfortable with her body.
She never liked her hair short,
She loved it when it’s long and blonde.
She loved to play dress up,
She loved to play with Barbie dolls,
And wore her Mom’s makeup;
She loved the colors hot pink and yellow,
She never liked to play
Football, Baseball, or any other sports.
She wanted to be the next Lady Gaga,
And so she sang and danced.
She wrote stories and poems
That one day, she will be noticed,
Not as her true self, but as the new her.
She changed her name,
She changed her hair,
She even changed her face.
She went from handsome to beautiful,
And so, she went from a caterpillar
Into a beautiful butterfly.
She played along as the other girls,
She wore dresses and bags that matched
But she was careful enough to
Follow the right crowd.
She was never mean,
She was really times infinity sweet
As a cinnamon roll with frosting.
But then this came along.
She was tortured and bullied
By her own peers.
They made fun of her appearance,
They made fun of her for being gay.
She cried and cried and cried;
All she wanted was to be herself.
But then I came along.
I came along like a demolition ball
And I befriended her.
I told her I love her just the way she is.
I didn’t care if she was different,
As I am different myself.
She’s lived in her own gay life,
I live in my own bi life.
We are the same in many ways.
I always loved her hair,
I always loved how she was dressed.
I love how she changed her name,
I love how she wanted to be her own self.
I always helped her with her hair
And even her makeup,
Just to make her more confident and beautiful.
She was insecure at first,
But now she metamorphosed into something else.
She helped change my life
When I was insecure at first,
And now I have came out and metamorphosed.
Sadly as years passed by,
She suffered really badly.
She wanted to get the change
To alter herself more,
To permanently alter from a dog to a cat.
Her parents said no, they cannot afford it
So she had no choice but to cross dress.
Sadly, that wasn’t enough for her.
And so, she suffered the worst kind of depression.
I tried to be there for her
Whenever she needed me.
I was the only one there for her.
She was happy when she was with me.
Unfortunately…
Her happiness was not high enough for her.
She cried some more and more, until…
She suddenly took her own life away.
I was crying my heart out when she took suicide,
My heart broke into many pieces,
And I couldn’t stop weeping my eyes out.
As years pass by,
I still visit her grave annually,
As I tell her that I am always there for her.
I wanted her to be strong,
I wanted her to be powerful,
I wanted her to stay beautiful.
It was never enough,
And now she’s forever gone.
Even in death, she will always be there for me.
She will always be there whenever I need her
In my heart and soul.
She will always be in my dreams
And give me hugs and kisses whenever
I’m always feeling down without her.
Most importantly,
I will always love her for being her.
I will love her even though she is gone.
I will forever love her even in death
And when I soon die,
Our souls will reconnect once again.
I will forever love her
Even though she was born a boy.
- Misery Severity - July 1, 2019
- Hummingbird - May 31, 2019
- She Was A Boy - September 9, 2018
