written by: Jasmin Mödlhammer
In my darkest night
I’ve heard the sweetest voice, echoing through my thoughts
My dark and suicidal thoughts
The voice tried to weigh me down
But I had already cut the rope, that held me back on earth
I flew away into the nothing, which enclosed me my entire life
All my bitterness and sadness disappeared instantly
Which desperate desire held me back that long time?
Daily nightmares tortured my soul and I ne’er did anithing against it
But now it’s time for changes
No more silence in my heart forevermore
Therefore no struggles and hate anymore
I laid back and watched the sky
Million stars shining upon us all
And then there was this delightful voice again, which shook my stone-cold heart
Don’t follow the stars; she quoth
And there she was; a maiden with golden and soften hair
With an aura like the warm embrace of a loving mother, arms gently crossed over her chest
She was taking my breath away, with her broken wings and demonic eyes, but she also scared me
No angel nor demon will get my broken and wounded soul, I said
Her red lips twitched to a warm smile
My name is Lenore, I’m no angel nor a demon
But thou are a soul-eating beast, I answered
In a blink of an eye, there was sadness in her eyes
In the depth of thy despair, I still can see hope. Think! I’m no angel nor a demon.
Are you a goddess?
No, but I’m the afterlife.
How was this e’en possible; the afterlife?
E’en if you’re the afterlife, I’ll float and flow, thou won’t stop me where I’m at, I’ll be finally free.
She opened her arms and showed a raven with red eyes on her shoulder
Thou can’t escape thy destiny, tis woven deep within the fate threads, the raven said
Lenore’s warm hand stroke my cheek
Thy soul will find its way, thou only got lost on thy journey
My dead heart beat for a moment, my skin screamed for more of her touches
Thou shalt not doubt in thee
I leaned back
But I’m not fitting in, there’s no happily e’er after in this world, ruled by these demons called humans
She nodded and looked up to the stars
Thou can be the ruler of this kingdom; called life. It’ll be hard work and a long way to go, but after all; tis worth the pain.
Her words echoed in my head, electrified every dead synopses in my brain, it made sense, but I still wasn’t convinced
E’en if tis true, who can guarantee?
No one really can, but think, life is the true art in this world. It can be a masterpiece, or end up in bleeding colors, tis what thou make it.
Her eyes wandered back to me
They mesmerized me and in the depth of her eyes, I saw my life
Every good and evil
The moment of my birth, the death of my beloved
Everything that made me who I am now
Did thou already forgot everything?
I watched myself, I saw the years passing by
I saw my death, my suicide and its impact
Is it true? Will they really mourn my death?
Yes!, the raven screamed and I opened my eyes to the good sides of my life for the first time
It’s time for thou to go now, it’s not time for thou to die yet
I wanted to disagree, but she was right
There was so much more for me to do in this life
So it shall be, she said
The raven jumped from her shoulder and landed on mine
His sharp pecker sunk into my chest and ripped my heart apart
I felt a deep burning in my chest
The darkness which surrounded me, lit up
And in the next moment; I woke up in the hospital, with my beloved ones surrounding me and a bad wound in my chest, which will be healed…
- Samhain - October 31, 2017
- Afterlife - May 22, 2017
- His Everything - May 8, 2017