I Don't Want Sometimes by Cristina Munoz at Spillwords.com

I Don’t Want Sometimes

I Don’t Want Sometimes

written by: Cristina Munoz

@cristinamunoz8

 

i don’t feel want
i get like this sometimes
i know it terrifies you
your tears look like crystals in this light
let me taste your furrowed fear
fast away, far from here

remembering our first kiss
captivating, you against a glittering pole
spinning around my sorrowed soul
like blood red, midnight blue silks
crowds of thousands dissolved to two
couldn’t get close enough
feel this way still

these nights six feet under memories,
crawl out of forgotten graves by 3.00am
he’s in my teenage room, over my bed
there’s his scratched brown hunting rifle
aimed at my fifteen year old forehead
standing silent in his taxi driver uniform
i can’t stand his hazel eyes mirror mine
when this way they bulge hatred black
while his right hand expert fingers
turn trigger grey and white

stealth fuels his nightly invasions
crime drama seeks his stench of mean
he’s smashing glasses of scotch whiskey
furious after missing my mother’s cheek
i can’t trust completely, be touched tenderly
when my rage is a violent scream

benevolent father once a giant
keeps right on smiting me
needing a blast of time to halt
these constant triggers, fierce aftershocks
forged a battlefield of war within i will win
please be patient, don’t give up on me
i am no one’s victim, refuse surrendering
awaken shaken, bruised not broken
curled hot along your cool long body

you’re my safe harbour
guiding my nightly escape away
off his vicious rocks back to you
when his darkness comes
i love the way you reach out for my hand
staying folded around every part of you
i found salvation held in your healing arms

my love
don’t you know by now
when i do want,
all i want,
is you

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