I'm So Tired, poetry by Leila Ziari at Spillwords.com
Ashley Byrd

I’m So Tired

I’m So Tired

written by: Leila Ziari


I’m tired of partying
I’m tired of cocaine
Tired of staying up til 6am to try to feel something
Tired of nights built on connection
To awake to their decompression
Tired of feeling most of the days
Like a purposeless shell
Built up of fucking nothing
By the death of ambition

I’m tired of pretending
I’m something you once wanted
I hear all these broken promises
I’m a fool ever to have believed a word
It’s so putain de empty
And I’m running in circles
Wondering what I wanted with any of it anyways

What is the objective
Health is cool, lettuce is great
But I’m lying in waste on an empty plate
My friends are all fake
What the fuck did I do
to deserve such a fate
Where does my energy go
When it all feels like a damn good waste

Manipulation of fake interactions and loneliness
Certified madness
Where does it end?
if I break the cycle what do I have left
A good night of rest
Pasta on my plate, Hurt on my chest
All the empty promises are
You couldn’t make it manifest

I watch you all cycle through the same bullshit
Another day another man
But it’s the same godforsaken trend
Unlike classic fashion that stands the test
It cycles into the garbage wasteland
To pile into systematic reflections
Of a battered head

Yeah let’s toast to the good life
Or whatever lies you’ve been spoonfed
Don’t pretend you even know what freedom is
It all feels as empty
As these bottles of bubbles in my bin

Where the fuck is the enjoyment
In all of this sin
It’s nowhere near debauched enough
For the devil to let you in
So we forsake our fucking angels
Again and again
While our wings lay sleeping
In a broken ass bed
Next to a stranger
Short of breath
A stranger who once was your best friend

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