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Testing A Twisted Theory
written by: Sue Marie St. Lee
“Honey, can you help me with something, please?” I asked Hubby, who was making himself a snack in the kitchen.
“Sure. What do you need?”
“Okay, lift your shirt up in the front and close your eyes.”
“Wait? What?” Hubby looked at me with suspicious eyes.
“Please. This is for a story I’m writing and I need to test something out to make sure it works.”
“I don’t like the part about closing my eyes. Why can’t I keep them open?”
“C’mon, please. It won’t take long. I promise, then you can get back to eating your snack.”
Hubby closed his eyes and I took a step forward, I extended my hands while taking a deep breath then grabbed and twisted his nipples hard. Hubby yelled and jumped backwards while pushing my hands away from his chest.
“What the heck was that?” His hands covered his nipples, protecting them from any further assault.
“Sorry, honey. I needed to know if nipple-twisting would really make a man pull away. It’s for a story I’m writing where a man is on top of a woman, strangling her. Someone told me that a good nipple-twist would make the man disengage his grasp around her neck. I had to be sure it would work.”
“Wait a minute. You only tested half your theory. I wasn’t on top of you trying to strangle you. If you need to test this theory, you need to test the whole theory. C’mon, let’s get on the ground.”
“Sorry, hon, I can’t. Gotta finish this story!” I blew him a kiss before walking back to my computer, “Oh, why don’t you open a bottle of wine for us? I’ll be finished in a few minutes and we can relax on the patio.”
“Sure, as long as this isn’t another theory-test. Is the wine poisoned?”
I laughed at his remark, finished my story and joined him on the patio revelling in the natural beauty before us. Squirrels scampered for a drink of water from the birdbath while birds splashed in another vessel before settling down for the night.
I reminisced of the day’s events, especially the theory-testing on Hubby and wondered if this whole quarantine matter is making me crazy… A crazy writer? Never. Brushing that thought from my mind, I shifted my focus once again on our surroundings where the setting sun made its way to the horizon before disappearing in a beautiful sunset. I am glad to be alive and reminded that the beauty of life is still all around us – not quarantined.