It’s a one way ticket on a sombre journey – destination nothingness.
I take my seat, weary passenger, resigned to my fate.
I ask what madness led me here, to this dark embrace that promises eternal silence.
This beautiful world has no place for me.
Cast out, unable to thrive, unable to love, oddity, misfit.
They have tried and failed to tame me.
I am the wild animal – the wounded fox, the hunted lion.
The world a cage from which I must escape,
It’s bars a prison I cannot endure.
I am the child of stunted growth.
The flower that never blossomed.
The tree that bears no fruit, drawing goodness from the earth to feed only this black void.
This gaping hungry mouth that is never sated, ever ravenous.
Leafless trees pass by my window, reaching out dead fingers as if to mock me.
The earth, hard as iron with no promise of life stirring within it.
Barren and empty as my own womb,
Never to bring forth new life and with it new meaning, new purpose.
Oh life how could you be so cruel?
Sending me into battle with no means of defence.
No armour to shield me, to protect me from harm.
My emotions so thinly veiled – dressed only in the thinnest muslin.
All around me viscous black now,
Inky velvet shadow almost liquid as it puddles around me.
Complete blackness, mesmerising, all consuming.
And then I see her! That shining silvery iridescence filling the sky.
Her light the only promise of a new tomorrow.