Everything that I held dear is gone,
Stolen from me by an errant mind,
I feel as though I am lost in a barren wilderness,
Surrounded by people but never more alone than this moment,
One thing tethers me to the ground,
The other cords have been hacked away.
I scream into the void knowing not one will answer back,
I am alone,
I am lost,
The place that I once called home has rejected me,
Like a malfunctioning organ,
Now surgically removed and incinerated.
The weight of my regret is heavy,
It forces me into the ground,
I am choking on the dust of this wilderness,
I wish to be at home,
But in my heart I know this is where I belong.
David Gray-Hammond is an autistic addict, sober and in recovery, living in Brighton, UK. He is a presenter and educator for Aucademy. David also presents the podcast "Especially interesting" from Aucademy, which can be found on Spotify. He writes and speaks extensively on the topic of autism, addiction, and mental health, and is working on a poetry collection to capture his life as an autistic addict. He has spoken at a number of conferences and runs the Facebook page Emergent Divergence. His writing can be found on his WordPress site - Emergent Divergence.