One Year Later
written by: Long Hammer
It’s been about a year since I began the ancient practice of Lectio Divia meditation. The practice stimulated a long series of vivid dreams which were difficult to interpret and left me ill at ease. I was hoping that meditation would bring me closer to some kind of spiritual awakening, but my efforts were frustrated by a lack of commitment.
After many hours of introspection, I concluded my lukewarm meditation was caused by an underlying fear of a possible encounter with spiritual forces. Authors I read in the past described an encounter with God as “like dynamite under your skin” and something that left you “changed forever.” While part of me wanted an encounter, another part was very afraid, and this I think led to my halfhearted meditation practice.
After several weeks of sitting quietly and reading Bible passages and asking God to respond as directed by the Lectio Divia masters, I decided I was wasting my time and gave up. This decision seemed to dry up the source of my vivid dreams as well, so my spiritual quest came to a dead-end.
In many ways this was a relief. Sleeping once again became restful as the strange non-stop dreaming came to an end. I was now spared the task of trying to interpret all the unsettling imagery and odd narratives my dreams contained. For the next several months I sat back and enjoyed the calm, but eventually my need to find answers drove me back to seeking a path forward.
Rather than starting up my Lectio Divia again, I began a self-guided meditation on the nature of the Holy Trinity. I’m not a theologian or even highly schooled in religious dogma, so my speculations are that of an amateur. I’m fairly certain that some of my ideas on this topic would generate howls of disapproval from my local traditionist Catholic priest.
Each Sunday as part of the Mass, the congregation recites the Nicaean Creed. The creed is the Catholics’ great act of faith and lists the things that one must believe about the nature of the Holy Trinity and spiritual reality. The creed is the bedrock of belief for most Christians, and for Catholics it is mandatory.
The creed in part says that God the Father is the maker of Heaven and Earth and of all things visible and invisible. Jesus Christ is the only begotten Son of God and is of one substance with the Father. After Jesus arose from the dead, he ascended into Heaven and sits at the right hand of the Father. The Holy Spirit (Ghost) emanates from the Father and the Son and together with the Father and Son is adored and glorified. The Holy Spirit is the Lord and giver of Life. It was also the Holy Spirit that spoke through the Prophets in the Old Testament.
The Holy Trinity is therefore made up of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit who are equal and without difference. For me, this indicates that the three parts of the Trinity are clearly united, but also have defined roles. God the Father is like a chief executive, the ultimate creator of the entire universe and the decider concerning the end of time. The Son has two specific roles in spiritual history beyond his earlier cooperation with the Father in the creation of the universe. His first earthly mission was to bring salvation to mankind, which he accomplished via his voluntary crucifixion. He now sits in Heaven, awaiting the day when he will accomplish his second mission: bring justice and judgment to mankind at the end of time.
The role of the Holy Spirit seems to me to be the aspect of the Trinity that has been interacting and communicating with creation since the beginning. In my experience, religious people seem to pay a great deal more attention to the Father and the Son, giving the Holy Spirit short shrift.
The Catholic Church tells us that it is the will of the entire Trinity that keeps the universe and everything in it intact. If the Trinity were to withdraw that will, the universe would dissolve into nothingness. The creed states clearly that the Holy Spirit is the Lord and Giver of Life. For me, this means that the Spirit is the power that creates the flash that occurs at the conception of a human being and the force that tells a seed to germinate. The power of the Spirit is clearly immense, as it was through its action that the Man-God, Jesus Christ, took human form.
Looking at what I believe are the various roles of the Trinity, I think it is the Holy Spirit that communicates and supports humankind. Like the Prophets of old, any messages a person might receive from the spiritual world are transmitted by the Holy Spirit. I also believe that the things called “miracles” are from the Spirit, however, the many apparitions of the Virgin Mary at places like Lourdes, Knock, and Fatima seem to come from another spiritual source.
Recently, I was discussing my idea about the role of the Holy Spirit with a friend and he said that my idea seemed to him to be like the “force” in the Star Wars saga. After thinking about this concept for a while, I decided he was partially right. The force in the Star Wars stories is a power which can either be a motivator for good or evil behavior. The Holy Spirit, in my opinion, only has one motivation: goodness. The Holy Spirit communicates the Trinity’s love for humankind and creation. The evil in the world is caused by mankind’s perverse use of its “free will,” not the influence of the Holy Spirit.
It was this realization that quelled my fears about my efforts to communicate with the world beyond. I believe that if I keep my meditation focused on the Trinity, I will come to no harm. I think the spirit world is a crowded place and that there are evil and destructive elements that want to join with us if we encourage communication with them. By directing my meditation efforts exclusively to the ultimate source of love in the universe, the Trinity, I think I can shield myself from those negative forces.
What then of the authors that tell us that an encounter with God is “like dynamite under your skin” and that the experience will “change you forever”? I think my initial reactions to those statements were negative and fearful. I assumed that the dynamite was going to harm me and that the change might be for the worse. Now I think the dynamite may only destroy the selfish, egotistical, and brutish parts of me and that the change will be totally positive.
So now, I’ve made a new commitment to once again meditate using the ancient practice of Lectio Divia. I realize the avalanche of dreams may begin again, which would mean that I’m not going to have many restful nights, but the possibility of getting some answers will be worth a little lost shuteye.
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