you thought the use of prohibited drugs would end
the indescribable pain you’re feeling inside
so you had it way past the limit, of how much your body could take;
you had it all in one swig of a moment,
one time, one momentary slip of consciousness;
your world turned into the darkest of oblivion.
you thought shutting off the oxygen that your breath would stop
you from hyperventilating,
gasping the air brought about
by your misery, your panic,
your fear, your stress;
so you cut a part of you
that locks up the air, you let it loose, you let it go,
in a single drastic flow of blood,
you breathe your last breath,
your lungs expelled the last gulp of air,
until there was none.
you thought leaving the world
of the living would end all
of your greatest worries and fears,
your darkest secrets and traumas,
your inexplicable mood swings;
but, truth be told- it won’t,
your worries and fears could be your grandest blessings,
your darkest secrets and traumas could be your road to greatness,
your inexplicable mood swings could be your highway to healing.
don’t cover up your pain with a beautiful smile,
don’t hide your trauma with grace and composure,
most importantly don’t ever think
of quitting the life you have;
because i have been there and amidst sobbing gulps of dissatisfaction,
i found the courage to say ‘no’ to quitting
i found hope in all of life’s emotions, excitement, adventure, meaning, and love.
i have had the chance to live every emotion invented,
i have curled up on the bathroom floor sobbing with fear,
screamed at the top of my lungs alone with the hope of finding comfort,
i have flashed and danced with confusion,
and had the chance to stare at life
right in the face to find out
what is important;
life continues to surprise me,
because i chose to live.
Philippine-born Michelle Navajas, currently residing in Malaysia. Michelle authored the book “After – Rain Skies: A Million Stars” for PWW during their Million Stars campaign. Graduated with a Master of Education majoring in English in the Philippines, Michelle was a former college professor, teaching literature, speech & oral communication, creative writing, drama, and theatre arts. Michelle is active in her writing profession and works as a freelance creative writer. Michelle passionately blogs at WordPress at michnavs, where you can find her prose and poetry on love, life, motherhood, and her advocacy on abuse and violence. Her poem “Again” is published on three platforms, on MEDIUM - an International Writers and Readers Space, AFRICA WRITERS CARAVAN, and at WOMAWORDS LITERARY PRESS.